N-FILES

LAST POST

2007-04-02T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone!

I created a new blogsite... SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

http://purple-crystal-flame.blogspot.com <---- its all about me!!!

http://brainjury.blogspot.com <---- brain stimulant

mission-accomplished

2007-03-31T23:41:00.000+08:00

been busy since i got here in cainta, day after my last exam. i feel so... fulfilled!!! heres a list of the things ive planned and was able to do since tuesday:

1. installed virus-scan, corel draw and adobe photoshop in my laptop (actually, i had my dad install it. i dunno how eh... kinda stupid when it comes to 'codes' and uhh serial nos)

2. learned how to use corel draw and adobe photo.

3. was able to make a 3D logo of T.O.L. and a backdrop somethin'

4. created T.O.L. egroups

5. uploaded our notesbank

6. uploaded several pix with me

7. started another blog in friendster for my compilation of digested new sc decisions (acutally isa palang nagagawa ko but thats a good start)

8. havent texted any of those 'unworthy fools'

ayan... madadagdagan pa yan. minsan lang mangyari to sakin na nagagawa ko mga plano kong gawin. hehehe!

ang poproblemahin ko lang ngayong holy week eh mananaba ako.... IM GAINING MY WEIGHT AGAIN!!!! waaahhh!!! puro kasi chocolates and pastries dito sa bahay eh! ndi inuubos nila mami, papa and kuya. yan tuloy, lagi akong may nadadampot sa ref!

great night

2007-03-29T03:54:00.000+08:00

came home around 2am na. masaya ako!

7pm, nag turnover ceremonies SC. ok lang... tapos tambay sandali sa school until we (my "boyfriends for rent" ) decided to watch a movie. Fred was insisting that we watch TMNTurtles. Pero si JP gusto 300. we ended up watching 300 sa Mall of Asia. hehe!

Ganda ng cinematography nya grabe! as in bawat movement, every scene, every angle may story. no boring parts... except that it was too morbid for me. pero after the movie naman, parang baliwala na ung pagka morbid nya para sakin. ndi ko lang kasi type ung madaming blood tapos napuputol mga body parts lalo na ung kapag natutusak ung mata. eewwww....

but the story was really good. ok naman ung lesson... bilib ako sa courage ni king leonidas and ng mga spartans. parang fraternity ung dating... dun nga ata nag umpisa ung concept ng fraternity eh. hehehe! pero ok talaga. for me, king leonidas made the right choice of not surrendering. para na rin kasi nyang pinatay dignidad nya, prinsipyo nya pati na ng greece kapag ginawa niya un. KING?? LULUHOD before an enemy? nako ha!

kakatawa habang nanonood kami. yoko kasi ng sobrang mga morbid movies. natatawa sakin sila khalid, fred and jp kasi sabi ko ibang iba talaga at ndi ako matotrauma sa pagkamorbid kung ninja turtles pinanood namin. hhahaha! diba, laki ng difference? KOWABONGGA!

after the movie, masaya din tsaka relaxing. midnight na nun and naglakad lakad lang kami sa MOA till we decided to sit sa parking lot... sa isa sa mga isle dun para magkwentuhan. ok sya! naappreciate ko kahit sa kalsada ng parking lot kami nakaupo. solo namin ung place, tahimik, mahangin. kwentuhan lang kami dun till past 1am. ok silang katambay... hehe!!! sana maulit muli. after nun, lipat kaming tapat ng jollibee para matino naman pwesto ng upuan (sakit na kasi likod ko eh i wasnt able to drink my med). tapos dun, kwentuhan ulit kami... actually kinig lang sa stories ni fred. hehe!

BASTA MASAYA! next gimik namin, mag ice skating naman kami. haha!

MISSION-POSSIBLE (hopefully)

2007-03-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

i need to bring back the good 'ol (ok, young nalang) responsible me!!! so.. eto na! dapat part na to ulit ng daily or weekly routine ko! (YIKES!)

1. read the news from the internet (oh com'on! dont expect me to buy newspaper! im having a hard time trying maneuvering those big pages!)

2. visit and read http://www.supremecourt.gov.ph/ (yep! lotsa learn from that page!)

3. read new cases decided by the Supreme Court as reflected from the above site (Ows?? talaga lang ha! sige... ill start on April nalang. haha!)

4. smile!

next time nalang ung iba. plano ko eh to be updated lang muna sa current events. hirap lang kasi and kainis kasi mga balita nakaka disappoint eh. as much as possible ayaw ko ung about politics (mga congressmen, pgma, etc).

ok naman ako sa balita sa TV eh... usually may naaabutan ako. hehe!

i did it

2007-03-28T02:54:00.000+08:00

ayt, i drove them away. now im free... but am i happy? ndi ko sure. ang alam ko lang payapa ako most of the time. but not as happy as before. although its not as complicated and lonely din naman. good or bad? NULL. EMPTY. NA-AH.

but i am productive the whole day. as in! tapos, i was able to let go of some of my day to day thoughts. no more day dreaming! thats somehow a big accomplishment for me... for today lang. ewan ko paggising tom. haha!

kakamiss. pero ok lang. mabuti ng ganito, dito din naman mauuwi bandang huli eh.

nakakapanghinayang. pero ok lang din. kaysa naman sa masaktan para sa wala.

pahabol

2007-03-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

teka, what a coincidence! after writing my previous blog, i checked my horoscope sa friendster. ayos!!! eto:

The Bottom Line
Your high standards are admirable, but how realistic are they? Lighten up a little.

In Detail
Look, up in the sky -- high up among the clouds, there are your ideals! These lofty ideals are admirable, but how realistic are they? There is little point in having incredibly high standards if no one in the world can meet them. Plus, how much stress do you cause yourself by trying to meet those standards? It's time to get more realistic about what you require from the people in your life -- and from yourself, too. Lighten up, and learn how to enjoy and even cherish the quirks of others.

OH DIBAAA??? parang sinabi nyang impossible ung pinagsususulat ko. hahahha!!! sabi na eh! wala ng ganung lalake! *positive thinking*

my ideal = )

2007-03-24T22:25:00.000+08:00

inspired by my friend's blog, magpopost din ako ng ideal bf ko. haha! tutal mukha namang walang nagbabasa ng blog ko na guy except for khalid and mEgoy... ok lang yan! haha!

hmmm... teka, i change my mind. next time nalang ako magpost ng ganyan. parang nakakawalang gana eh. hahaha! pero ndi, sige na nga. ang gulo ko! eto.. mangangarap muna ako ha.

PHYSICAL:

height: preferrably taller than me. around 2-3inches or taller pa.

built: syempre bigger sakin. gusto ko medyo malaman.. YOKO ng buto buto! mukha kaming no. 10!

hair: clean cut/ semikal/ skinhead. basta malinis, good! ok din kung naka gel or wet look... clean and fresh tingnan eh. hehe!

facial skin: syempre preferrably makinis. yoko ng may bigote. unless kamukha niya si christopher de leon, ok lang. haha!

tummy: pangit naman kung mukhang buntis. ok lang kahit ndi 6-pack. basta kinda firm and basta ndi mukhang buntis. haha!

biceps: firm. ok na un. wag naman malamya tingnan diba? baka mas malambot pa un kaysa braso ko. hehe!

looks/ face: ndi naman ako demanding... ok lang kung ndi kaguwapuhan. basta malinis sya. pero syempre bonus kung guwapo diba! hehe! but then again, basta bearable naman tingnan, ok lang. ung tipong pwede mong iharap pa rin sa mga tao. kapal naman ng mukha kong magdemand ng guwapo as if kagandahan ako diba. pero ok din talaga na guwapo para ndi naman magmukhang deprived ang kids kapag kami nagkatuluyan.

attitude:

confident, masculine... wag sana efem, maayos maglakad and magdala ng sarili, wag naman mayabang pero tipong may dating na para bang knowledgeable sya and street smart. sana may positive outlook sa life and appreciative. wag mapanlait. may breeding.

personality/ character/ innerself:

preferrably someone sweet... really sweet and thoughtful. gusto ko everyday binabati ako tsaka kung pwede tinatawag tawagan ako and kinakamusta... ung tipong mafifeel mong he cares for me (demanding ba sobra? sorry ha). wag naman din possessive pero kahit papano kilig kung medyo nakaka feel sya ng pagselos or tampo kung minsan pero wag to the point na magagalit... lambing lang. i want someone na ipapafeel sakin na importante ako sa kanya, someone who makes me feel loved and parang gusto nya akong protektahan, ingatan, alagan na para bang napaka fragile ko (hehe! sorry ha, alaga kasi ako sa bahay). i want someone na susuyuin ako... pakikiligin... pangingitiin... ung mga ganun ba. gusto ko ipafeel niya sakin na babae ako na i am someone who deserves to be loved. ok din pala kung medyo komedyante sya.. kung baga may sense of humor, and ndi trying hard. romantic... ok un! hehhee! syempre sana may utak.. no... not just may utak. gumaganang utak! may sense kausap, someone na may matututunan ako. street smart and knowledgeable but not know it all. willing magturo sakin without making me feel dumb or stupid.

i want someone who appreciates and loves nature tripping, simple pleasures of life, mababaw kaligayahan tulad ko. hehe! someone not so hard to please, ndi masyadong ma pride. masipag, responsible, resourceful, charming, may pagka aggressive, tapos understanding. sana religious din sya. honest, sincere, loyal (hehe)... stick to one.. stick sakin. hehe!

OTHERS:

sorry to say this pero... sana lang naman, "mas" or of the same status samin. bad ba? kung ndi man, at least someone who can give me the same comfortable life that my parents were able to provide me. hindi naman din siguro gugustuhin ng parents ko na mapunta ako sa someone na mas pahihirapan lang buhay ko after nila akong alagaan sobra. (sensya po)

DONTS:

playboy. gambler. alchoholic. addict. gastador. violent. basta... mga attitudes/personality/way of thinking chuvas na makaasama.

may nakalimutan pa ba ko??? malamang meron pero ndi ko maisip ngayon. hehe! negotiable naman din lahat yan... kasi sympre kung naglove ka, minsan hirap ng pigilan (yeeaaahhbah! kala mo naman na inlove nako. haha!). sana lang makahanap ako ng ganyang tao. hehe! love ako at love ko rin.

god please... hehe!

updates

2007-03-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

m having a hard time studying... for my BO1 exam medyo 3 hours lang ata ako nakatulog pero 1-2 hours lang aral ko. actually ndi pa nga aral un, reading lang eh. kaya nung nag exam ako, puro sounds and looks familiar lang lahat. tsk tsk...

my back? ok naman. im taking pain reliever, un sabi ng doctor eh. epektib naman so far. no need for surgery. buti nalang nagconsult din kami sa neurosurgeon. eto ung mga pinakonsultahan namin na doctor:

1. Dr. Tamayo from Cardinal Santos, orthopedic surgeon. sabi niya urgent daw na mag undergo ako ng surgery bago pa magkaron ng serious damage ung spine area ko. PF? P800 ata

2. Dr. Lasam from UST, orthopedic surgeon. sabi nya theres a need for surgery but its not urgent. kapag unbearable nalang ung pain, tsaka nalang. PF? P500-600 ata

3. Dr. Casis from Medical City, neurosurgeon. sabi nya ndi pa kailangan ng surgery. as long as kaya pa ng gamot, un nalang muna. :) PF? P600 ata

in short, im not going to undergo any surgery yet. hehe! buti naman, at least makakapag summer class ako tsaka more free time syempre.

next, ang saya ko kanina! pig out kami ni erica. bili kami tig 430ml ice cream. SARAAAAAAAPPP!! tapos kinain namin un sa taas ng torre, pool-side. nakaka relax. sarap tumambay. tagal ko ng ndi nakatambay dun eh. sana maulit un. masaya, relaxing, kinds fresh air, ganda ng view, AYOS! sana tuloy tapos na finals ko tapos tambay ulit kami doon... kaya nga lang, till 10pm lang ata un. masaya sana kung beyond 10pm.

my top hits

2007-03-24T13:32:00.000+08:00

eto inspired by rjil pagpost ko ng top hits ko. hehehe!
(not arranged in any order.. hirap mag rank eh)

How did i fall in love with you-- backstreet boys
why-- avril lavinge
runaway-- corrs
ill never love this way again-- regine velasquez
dream of me-- kristen dunst
all for you-- sister hazel and blues traveller
only you-- enrique iglesias
say ull stay-- kai
when i see you smile-- (i forgot)
all the love in the world-- corrs
i dont wanna miss a thing-- aerosmith
true colors--

actually madami akong gusto eh... basta for now pinaka gusto ko ung sa backstreet boys na "how did i fall in love with you"

(to be updated pa to.. nasa kabilang pc list ko eh. haha!)

meantime wishes

2007-03-21T17:13:00.000+08:00

1. i want a pentagram (star inside a circle) pendant
2. i want a new cellphone. preferrably P990i or N93i or N93
3. i want to have my hair cut
4. i want to have an alyansa t-shirt. hehehe!
5. i want a puppy... mamamatay na ata ung doggie namin. tanda na kasi eh. may arthritis daw sabi ni papa.

cant think of any other things to wish for right now. hehe!

thesismates

2007-03-21T02:16:00.000+08:00

aawww..... kainis tong pc ng kuya ko! naka broadband kasi sya kaya eto ginamit ko. bilis kasing mag download ng mga tugtog. ayun! na download ko na mga gusto ko. ngayon, naaalala ko thesismates ko nung college, si di lopez and KQ! heres a copy of our group's theme song! nako! kung pwede ko lang din maiupload ang MTV na ginawa namin dito. hahaha! acutally, featuring di as the singer, KQ as the leading actress (tulog lang sya) and me as the director and camera woman! hahaha!

SUKOB NA

INTRO

Ooh

Tuwing umuulan ay naaalala tayong dalawa

Kay sarap isipin na may kasama sa buhay 'pag bumaha

CHORUS 1

Sukob na, halika na

Sabay tayo sa payong ko

Hawak ka, kapit pa

Sa payong ko, magkasama tayo

Ohh ooh

(Sukob na, sukob na)

Hinding-hindi ka pababayaan na mag-isa sa ulan

Aalagaan, magtatawanan, wala na 'tong iwanan

CHORUS 2

Sukob na, halika na

Sabay tayo sa payong ko

Hawak ka, kapit pa

Umula't bumagyo, magkasama tayo

BRIDGE

'Di ko na inakala pa na ika'y paririto

Ngunit salamat na lamang at dumating ka sa buhay ko

[Repeat CHORUS 2]

CHORUS 3

Sukob na, halika na

Sabay tayo sa payong ko

Yakap ka, kapit pa

Umula't bumagyo, magkasama tayo

Sa payong ko,

magkasama tayong dalawa

(Sukob na, sukob na)

wrong move

2007-03-21T01:58:00.000+08:00

my heart is beating...

i miss you so much...

but just like how the quote goes...

"sa tuwing bang mamimiss kita, un at un nalang ang babalikan ko?"

damn. i made a wrong move just now. texted *tut*. nagreply. touched naman ako. reminiscing... ayan! tumibok nanaman puso ko! hahaha! lupet! damn it! tulog lang kailangan ko siguro.

dream of me

2007-03-21T01:40:00.000+08:00

Let me sleep

For when I sleep

I dream that you are here

You’re mine

And all my fears are left behind

I float on air

The nightingale sings gentle lullabys

So let me close my eyes

And sleep

Per chance to dream

So I can see the face I long to touch

To kiss

But only dreams can bring me this

So let the moon

Shine softly on the boy

I long to see

And maybe when he dreams

He’ll dream of me

I’ll hide beneath the clouds

And whisper to the evening stars

They tell me love is just a dream away

Dream away (echo 3x)

I’ll dream away

So let the moon

Shine softly on the boy

I long to see

And maybe when he dreams

He’ll dream of me

Oooohhh

Dream of me

recap

2007-03-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

havent been posting here...

just an overview of what took place the past few days...

for today:

im bad since last night (tapos for today ung topic eh noh? ayos! ill make a connection, pramis! hehe!). this guy texted me... nangangamusta but i didnt reply. tapos isa pang text and i didnt reply ulit. then kanina nag msg ulit... tampo na ata ndi pa rin ako nagreply (i hope hes not reading this... pero kung oo, ok nalang din. at least he'll know "the whys"). syempre na guilty naman ako. hes been so sweet and nice to me pero dinedma ko lang pangangamusta nya. so sige, nagreply ako sa kanya and i said "sorry ndi me rep x x x dont wanna talk about it xxx". mukhang naintindihan naman nya bket wala akong reply and sabi nalang nya "ok, text me if may maitutulong ako". see that?! bait pa rin.

pero bat nga ba ndi me nagrereply? hes such a nice person naman, sweet and thoughtful. the kind of guy who'll come to the rescue pag kinailangan mo sya. sige, fine, given ng "extra attention" kami for each other as compared to our common crowd. thats exactly the reason why i have to put a stop to that "extra attention". kasi he's being sweet to me na minsan i dont feel like returning that kind of sweetness. ndi naman sa nag eexpect sya (for real) pero syempre, pangit naman na deadma lang reply sayo sa times na he's being sweet diba. at least man lang maki ride ako. pero minsan nga, kahit maki ride ayoko na kasi ndi naman un ung nafifeel ko. tapos may times din na he'll ask for things like hug ko sya (thru text man lang)... eh minsan i dont feel like giving it. kahit ba isang pindot lang ang "hug" message sa text, ndi ko feel. tapos misan he'll ask me if miss ko sya. eh syempre magtatampo naman un pag sinabi kong ndi diba? pero sinasabi ko "nope". hahha! bad ako. pero syempre, sweet din naman ako sa kanya minsan like i text him a simple "hugs" or na miss ko sya. totoo naman un.. i mean, totoong gusto ko syang hug and totoong miss ko sya during those times, or i wouldnt be texting him those.

pero lately i realized nastop na dapat. came to that realization when he didnt text me for a week. oo, true, namiss ko sya... pero ndi naman sobra... until before mag end ung 1 week na un, wala nakong pake kung magtext pa sya or ndi. pero nagtext pa din naman. dun ko narealize na maigi pang stop nalang kasi baka dumating ung point na masyado akong masanay sa attention na binibigay niya tapos biglang mawala lahat un. baka masaktan lang ako. lalot till ganun lang naman ang future naming 2 sa isat isa. sabi ko nga dati, i wanna be sweet with someone na i know walang limitations... i mean, na i can fall freely for that someone kasi available din sya to catch me. pero sa case ng guy na to, nope... mukhang hes not going to be available to catch me if i fall.

sad to think lang na sayang ung sweetness. pero like i told my friend, "great things start from small beginning". kaya kapag nag grow pa ung sweetness na un, baka magfall nako. bad for me. maigi na tong kinalalagyan ko ngayon na i dont feel for anyone. ndi ko sila namimiss. walang hinanakit. ok yan.

sunday, march 18:

hectic tong araw ko! morning exam ko sa laborel. after nun, exam ko naman sa investment law. so matagal tagal din akong nakaupo nyan (wawa naman likod ko). tapos nung nakauwi nako to rest for awhile, eh talagang sandali lang un dahil i ahve to go for mass na sa HP. eh medyo madaming tao dun sa mass na naabutan ko kaya nag national nalang muna ako. tapos mass na. then balik sa national to look for a book. natuwa naman ako kasi nabili ko na ung book na gusto ko... ung THE BRIDGE ACROSS FOREVER by richard bach. last copy na nila and medyo lumang luma ng tingnan ung book.pero ok lang, baka ndi ako matahimik eh. haha! got 65% discount for that! ayos!!! swerte! pag uwi ko, diretso ako sa bed. sobrang sakit na kasi talaga ng likod ko nun eh. hehe!

thursday, march 15:

eto, sobrang ive been wanting to write about this day na. ang saya saya ng araw ko!!! :) nagkayayaan kasi kami nila khalid, fred, jp and marcus na magdinner. so nagdinner kami sa malate... persian ata un. bsta mga shawarma na food and the like. ako lang babae sa kanila! haha! one of the boys! pero ang saya namin sobra! inabot kami till 12 ata un. eh exam week na un ha! hahhaA! basta, im so happy that night! sana maulit muli. hehe! sobrang saya silang kasama tsaka kumportable ako. kakatuwa talaga. luv u guys! yan ung mga tinatawag na "for rent boyfriends" ko eh. haahhaha!!!

2007-03-20T19:36:00.000+08:00

for now

2007-03-20T18:24:00.000+08:00

If you hold back on the emotions- if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them- you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. you're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. you're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

but by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain is. you know what love is. you know what grief is. and only then can you say, 'all right. i have experienced that emotion. i recognize that emotion. now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment.

---> an excerpt from tuesdays with morrie

part of your world

2007-03-18T03:27:00.000+08:00

What would I give to live where you are?

What would I pay to stay here beside you?

What would I do to see you smiling at me?

Where would we walk?

Where would we run?

If we could stay all day in the sun

Just you and me, and I could be

Part of your world

I don't know when,

I don't know how

But I know something's starting right now

Watch and you'll see,

someday I'll be

Part of your world

TAX ANXIETY

2007-03-17T04:22:00.000+08:00

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finals ko na less than 7 hours from now!!!! LA PA ATA AKONG ALAM SA TAX!!! pero eto ako diba, relax pa rin naman while blogging. hehe! gusto ko ng magblog kasi dami naman ok na panyayari simula thurs kaso ngayon eh cramming na for tax. AKALAIN MO BA NAMANG FIRST TIME KONG MAGBABASA NITO?!? yan napapala ng mga crammer and ndi nakikinig sa prof during class hours at ndi nagbabasa ng assigned readings! tsk tsk tsk... (sana wag akong turuan ni lord ng lesson ko for my delinquency)

tax lord.... i invoke thee... hehe!

idealist

2007-03-15T01:39:00.000+08:00

Girl's boyfriend was having a guy talk with his friends in the dining room while the girlfriend was having her's at the sala.

B-boyfriend
F-boyfriend's other guy friends

F: Pare, ang swerte mo sa girlfriend mo!

B: haha! syempre naman! magaling ako pumili eh!

F: nako tol! kung ako sayo, uuhh (and makes a stamping move)... sarap nyan! Tol! frrreesh na freesh!

B: (silent and was just smiling while staring at his girl friend)

F: Pare ano ba, natikman mo na ba?

B: gago! (laughing!)

F: Ndi nga pare, seryoso, ano? mukhang ok na ok yan oh!

B: Hindi pare... wag ganun. (smiling)

F: Paaaree!! ano ka ba! pagkakataon mo na to! sayang ang opportunity noh!

B: hindi pare wag... nirerespeto ko yan. mahal ko yan eh.

quotes and poems

2007-03-14T11:01:00.000+08:00

i start to realize,every second i spent thinking about you.--it was never worth it—

"dont let words fool you,cause you might realize in the end that it was only a joke"

Love is a four letter word for disappointment

doesnt every girl wish for a happy ending?

I want to walk into school
having just woken up
my hair a mess
jeans and a sweatshirt
with slip on shoes
and I just want you to say
you love me
no matter what I look like

Being his girl is an impossible wish..

I guess i am just another girl...

The worst part about being lied to..
Is knowing you're not worth the truth

" till this day iv waited and now it looks like iv faded"

" your beautiful
dont let anyone tell you otherwise
i can't even express how to say
that iv fallen in everyway
dont EVER let the mirrior tell you lies
just look at your reflection through my eyes"

Its really pathetic how i keep holding on to someone that im never getting back

Bleeding and broken heart
I dont know where to start
How can i make him see
How i want him to love me.....

But it's okay.I've never been good enough for anyone or anything in my entire life.

What women want:
someone who won't leave them and break their heart

Heres a quarter
call someone who cares

GUYS!!!!!
stop lookin 4 the perfect girl who is beautiful,smart,nice,has a flat stomach,or WHO LOVE SPORTS!!!!...cuz ur NEVER gonna find her..the girl 4 u is crying in her room cuz of u and ur filling ur head wit some stupid fantasy....WAKE UP!

"a wise girl kisses but doesn't love,listens but doesn't believe,and leaves before she is left."

It's Valentine's Day And We Both Think It's Stupid, So I Brought You A Gun...Let's Go Hunting For Cupid!

"He's her drug, and she's addicted"

by Llouva kates
I hate the way you smile at me
I hate the way you look at me
I hate the way you talk to me
I hate the way touch me
I hate the way you touch my hair
I hate the way you whisper in my ear
I hate you when you make me special
I hate everything in you
because your making me love you

If it's all over tomorrow
by Melissa
If the sky falls tomorrow,
Will you catch it,
Would you save me.
And if life ends tomorrow,
Would you let me,
Make you feel alive.
And if love never finds us,
Could i give it,
Just the littlest of hints.
Because when passion meets attraction,
It slowly shapes and designs,
The worlds most beautiful thing.
And if its all over tomorrow,
Would you be with me,
Could you spend it with me.
Cause when the sky is falling,
You're all I want to see.

He taught me how to love,but not how to stop.

Why do you say you love me, if you are only going to leave me?

Say I love you and mean it,don't just say it cause you can.

You wondered how you’d make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you’re looking for, is the one thing you can’t see.

" I know u well enough that u will never love me.."

Maybe i should hate you for what you put me through,and i do,but i can't help but love you too

I know i love you
but i don't know what to do
i just have this feeling inside of me
that is tearing me apart
i'm scared that u really don't love me
and that you're just messing with my heart

Please lie to me...one last time?

realization

2007-03-14T10:38:00.000+08:00

just woke up and may narealize lang ako. during my working hours, i usually feel saddened or lonely because of someone... ok sige fine! some guy. paghumiga nako to take a rest, un ung time na bigla kong naiisip and nararamdaman na i dont need HIM or any other guy. sabi nga sa kanta, "i dont need a man..". kaso nga lang, kakahiga ko pa lang nun. para ma maintain ung perception na un, dapat arise from bed nako para thats how ill live the rest of my hours. kaya lang, pagod ako eh! i need to take that rest kaya naman, pagkagising ko, ndi na un ung way of thinking ko. haha!

anyway, kasi naman eh! pagkagising ko, i read some books and blogs again... dun ko narealize na siguro ang sama ko dun sa isa kong friend. i drove him away (i guess). if i cant agree with his "proposed set-up", at least be nicer to him. pero i wasnt. i think i left with him with some bad words... bad ako. i want to text him na and say sorry or suyuin sya na peace na kami. kaya lang.... tom night nalang. late tom night. hehe! kasi naman eh! may deal pa kami ni khalid... i shouldnt text this guy im talking about until thurs night, after we've parked our car sa kung san kami magdidinner nila jp. haha! sige... tom nalang ako magtetext dun. sana lang wag nyang deadmahin text ko kundi talagang isusumpa ko sya. haha!

last will

2007-03-14T03:50:00.000+08:00

hehe! isa pang trip!

kunyari mamamatay nako... eto mga huli kong habilin tsaka pamana. (har!har!)

1. Law books, digests, and other law materials: for erica

2. colored pens: for sharie

3. cellphones: for erica

4. laptop: for khalid

5. pictures: sa mga lalakeng minahal ko. (hahhaha!!)

6. savings: kay kuya

teka... ndi ko maisip iba ko pang mga gamit. hahaha! huling habilin nalang para sa mga ka close ko

Erica:

Sis, kumain ka parati ng sky flakes ha. para ndi ka gugutumin at ndi lumala ulcer mo.

Sharie:

Sis, magbago ka na rin. wag ka ng paka stupid! hahaha! ako sa pagkakaalam ko, ndi pako as stupid as you are. hahhha! jk!

Angel:

Sis, true love awaits you. yeahbaah!!! basta, ur good and you deserve the best din.

Lorraine:

Sis, pagpatuloy niyo lang pagmamahalan niyo ni ping ha! mumultuhin kita pagnagkasakitan kayo!

Khalid:

bru... ndi ka pa rin ba mag TOL? mumultuhin kita! haha! jk! im sure mamimiss mo ang kakulitan ko. hehe!

Rjil and other AUSL bedans:

ni nd ko man lang kayo naka hang out ulit... sorry po. bawi ako pagkamatay ko. dalawin ko kayo always! :)

Next time na nga lang ulit ung iba.... haha!

tutulog nako. kung sakali mang ndi nako magising, ayan, im sure mababasa naman to ni khalid or erica kaya kayo na bahala magparating nito sa mga people concerned. hahhaa! damn it!

suicidal

2007-03-14T03:37:00.000+08:00

hehe! share ko lang kung anung ka weirduhan minsan pumapasok sa isip ko. hehe! baka layuan niyo nako nito. bahala kayo. haha!

minsan iniimagine ko, like kunyari eto, may slipped disc ako... tipong nasa school kunyari tapos biglang ung taong kinakaasaran ko eh sasadyaing bungguin ako or maitulak tapos tatama likod ko sa bakal or wall. then, gravely injured ung likod ko! eh di ayun, bagsak ako sa floor tapos maghihingalo. deadball! hahhaha! (watdapani?!?). tapos bubugbugin ung taoong kinaaasaran ko. hihi!

wala lang.. weird ko. akalain mo ba namang imaginin kong namamatay ako??? WHOAAA??? PSYCHO??!!! mukhang kailangan ko ng magpa check up sa psychiatrist nito ah!

ayan... ang pangit noh? minsan gusto ko talaga mamatay nalang (HUWAAAAT??!!!??). sige na sige na, fine! weird na kung weird! eh yan ang trip ko eh! kaysa naman sa iba dyan na nagpapakalulong sa pag inom or drugs or kung ano pang bisyo! at least sakin, ndi magastos noh!!! un nga lang, para kong iniinvoke ang forces ng universe to make my deathwish come true. tsk tsk...

leche naman kasi eh! ANG PATHETIC KO!!! sometimes i hate myself! ndi ata alam ng ibang tao yan. EWAN! EWAN ko talga! inis lang ako ngayon. HMPH! DOUBLE HMPH! HMPH! HMPH!

pagpasensyahan niyo na kabaliwan ko for now... mas maigi ng dito ko ilagay to kaysa naman sa magtawag pako ng friends and mag reklamo lang sa pagka pathetic ng pananaw ko.

***** breathe in**** breathe out****

must be FATE

2007-03-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

Pano ko ba iopen tong topic...

For those of you who knows me well and even heard my stories and innermost sentiments, alam niyo kung sino tong tinutukoy ka sa blogs ko. AND WOW! Coincedence? God gave me the chance of meeting and communicating with two individuals (both guys) and both almost played a special part in my heart (nyikes!). hindi ko akalaing sobrang halos pareho na sila!!! Similarities?

1. I got the chance to get closer or communicating with BOTH of them... talking over the phone and texting... during the same month of ________.

2. BOTH showed signs of uhmm... interest? or probably willingness to give a lil attention for me...

3. BOTH made me feel and told me that I am important or that I mean something or that Im special for them.

4. Pareho sila ng style!!! IWANAN!

5. BOTH of them have a downside which for me is quite hard to accept...

6. BOTH invited me to hang out with them... unfortunately, PAREHO ding ndi pa natutuloy.

7. BOTH promised to give me 'something'. Unfortunately, PAREHO ring wala pa.

8. Cant remember other COMMON traits pero ONE BIG SIMILARITY eh ung PAREHO DIN PALA SILA NG ZODIAC SIGN!!!! Akalain niyo un!!! PAREHO SILA!!!! well... havent checked yet kung talagang pareho din sila ng mismong birthday. PERO GOODNESS!!! ano ba naman ang probability na at the same time and almost same situation, EH PAREHO SILA!!!

AAARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Ngayon ko lang narealize, mas lalo ba akong nagmukhang tanga??? Para akong nagago ng dalawang beses sa iisang pagkakataon! SHIYET! gusto ko isumpa lahi nila! hhahaha!

IF MEN WERE LIKE BUSES

2007-03-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

I got this from Jurisprudence' blog. Astig eh! hehe! Kapag eto binasa niyo, sure kayong ull be on the right track. Un nga lang... sa kalagayan ngayon eh... mdaming tatandang dalaga. haha!

* If Men Were Like Buses*

If men were like buses, how do you catch one? A more important question is - how do you catch the RIGHT one? Simple: You take only the bus that's headed the RIGHT direction. First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one. Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage. Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage. But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather facts. So when you do gather facts, let us compare the process to clothes shopping.

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family -the family of God? Scripture is clear on this: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Cor 6:14). You need to have common interest and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together. Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time. Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going your direction, get off the bus & wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends. Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Prov 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men & women across the world in order to put them together. At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy because he's shy. Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested. Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 Jn 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself. You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be suitable for you.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments? Including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to wrinkle. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff. 8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is your guy guided by a sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life. A man who has vision, is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be a supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever. Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complementarities. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts complement yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way? This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complementary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel - because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that causes you to work for love is too expensive! God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love & acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ. If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to Christ, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive. So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for the hand that they desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs. And no one gets a ride in this life for free.

Your prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice.In Jesus Name. Amen.

32 Qs

2007-03-13T11:10:00.000+08:00

1. Anong ayos ng buhok mo?
== pony tail

2. Kumusta na ang puso mo?
== naging ok na.. ngayon ndi nanaman. pero definitely, not beating for anyone.

3. May iniisip ka ba ngayon?
== yep. madami.

4. Madali ka bang magalit?
== not really. depende sa timing eh. pero ndi naman.

5. Anong mga madalas mong ikagalit?
== kapag sobrang kulit or hassle.hehe! tsaka mga injustice, liars, etc.

6. Kelan ka huling nakakita ng rainbow?
== cant rmember na eh

7. Kelan ka huling uminom?
== kung water, just now. kung alchohol, cant remember na... baka 2mos ago.

8. Anong ininom mo?
== just now? water.

9. Anong ginawa mo nong Feb. 14?
== andito lang sa condo.

10. Kelan ka huling tumawa?
== kahapon after my class. kakatawa si shaun eh.

11. Madali ka bang maimpluwensyahan?
== not really. kung sa masamang bisyo, nope. pero kung sa food, yes! haha!

12. May lakad ka ba mamaya?
== ndi sya gimik if ever. punta akong mercury drug. magpapaka adik ako dun!

13. May pinoproblema ka ba ngayon?
== yep, aside from my back pain... meron pa. medyo. pero ndi dapat.

14. Anong pinakagusto mong nabili last week?
== sundae!

15. Anong mas gusto mo? Kung ano ka dati o kung ano ka ngayon?
== Kung ano ako ngayon.

16. Mahilig ka bang makipag-debate?
== yep! pag about life. haha!

17. Anong huli mong napanood sa TV?
== hmmm... cant remember. always nakong nakaharap sa laptop internet eh. hehe

18. Halata ba pag may problema ka?
== not really.

19. Madali ka bang magpatawad?
== depende kung anong kasalanan.

20. E ang makalimot?
== depende kung ano. like if kasalanan sakin, nope. i dont forget. if about facts of a case, hehe... madaling kalimutan un!

21. Anong mas gusto mo? Single na like mo pa lang o taken na mahal mo na?
== Syempre, 'yung single!

22. May crush ka ba ngayon?
== none

23. Ilan ang sim mo? Anong gamit mo?
== 3. smart, globe and sun. pero smart and globe lang gamit ko kasi ndi ko makita charger ng sun phone ko.

24. Sinong madalas mong katext?
== Si erica, angel, khalid, sharie and philipp

25. Anong pinapakinggan mo ngayon?
== eto. tsaka ka ym ko si lorraine. after nito, magdadigest nako tax

26. Kelan ka huling nagkasakit?
== may sakit ako ngayon.

27. Saan ka makikita this Saturday & Sunday?
== pag exam time, sa classroom. other hours, dito lang condo.

28. May curfew ka ba?
== None.

29. Anong pinagkakaabalahan mo ngayon?
== eto...

30. Anong laman ng bag mo ngayon?
== School stuff.

31. Anong kulay ng medyas mo ngayon?
== Naka tsinelas pambahay lang ako.

32. Sinong laman ng puso mo ngayon?
== im not in love. un lang masasabi ko.

= (

2007-03-12T22:56:00.000+08:00

sad ako today... may kulang...

next, i think talagang nagwoworsen na ata likod ko. kanina i sat for 1 hour and 30mins lang in class tapos i feel uneasy na... sumasakit na likod ko. while walking naman, its kinda hard to walk briskly kasi may parang naiipit somewhere sa balakang ko and biglang sumasakit. slow motion tuloy ako (eto ang kapanahunan na nagiging mahinhin ako. haha!)

haay... sad din ako sa isa pang bagay. sabi ni mami baka ndi nalang daw ako mag summer class kasi risky daw. last day ng finals ko kasi is on march 26 pa. only after then can i have my surgery. eh april 2 na pala enrolment tapos class na sa april 11. baka kulangin sa time para magpagaling. saddening...

may naisip nga pala ako...

na realize ko lang na kung makikipag close ka na tipong isheshare mo whats bothering you and kung ano mga problema mo pati mga kalungkutan mo, etc... dapat sa babae. kasi kapag sa guy, tapos ok syang pagkatiwalaan sa ganyan, mahirap na. baka main love ka sa kanya. pag nanyari un tapos ndi nya reciprocated ung feelings mo, masakit... mahirap. poproblemahin mo un, ikalulungkot mo pero ndi mawawala kagad kasi sya mismo ung rason. pano mo isheshare sa kanya un? tsk tsk..

not enough rest

2007-03-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

based from observations during the past 2 days... sobrang pressure na for my back ung nakaupo ako for 2-3 hours. Dapat rest nako. Last night, I sat for 3 hours in front of my laptop tapos I felt I really had to take my rest. I did rest for 15minutes then went back to my seat kasi madami ng nagbabuzz sa ym ko. pero I had to go back to bed kasi masakit pa rin. it took me almost an hour to relieve the stress/ pressure in my back. this morning naman, I sat for in front of my laptop for around 2-3 hours. Then took my rest. yun, 1 hour rest din halos un... tsaka ang sarap ng tulog ko! bihira un ah! hehe!

in short, for every 2-3 hours of work in a sitting position, id have to alot another hour for rest. hmm... physical lang naman yan. mas matibay pa rin ako physically. Kasi kung mental? Nako! 15 mins lang sa harap ng libro reading and memory work, id have to rest for 45minutes!!!!

entangled

2007-03-12T09:53:00.000+08:00

there are other issues i chose not to dwell upon these past few days and instead rant about the pain in my back. pero somehow i think i should talk about it. baka lang maka help na mawala sa isip ko ung "other issues" na un. although mahirap isulat dito kasi baka mabasa ng people concerned or baka naman maghinala or magfeeling ung iba dyan (hehe!)

FIRST, the guy ive been talking about dati... i think he's gone. ndi patay ha. i mean, parang... faded??? uhmm... ung tipong ginawa lang nya akong "meantime girl". OOPS WAIT LANG. Nothing happened. hehe! Parang... nagparamdam lang sya sakin before na nag eexist sya and after doing that, wala na. absentee na sya without pointing out na we've come to the DEAD END. hirap noh, ndi niyo getz? hehe! Siya ata ung sinasabing "people come for a reason, season or a lifetime". maybe sya ung isa sa mga tao who came FOR A REASON. And thats to just to satisfy my "desire" to get to know him. Kasi noon na totally no communication kami, i kept on wondering of what could have been. hirap nun ah! Kasi araw araw maiisip mo na sana magkausap kami para man lang makilala ko sya. Nung nanyari na un, i hoped for more. Na sana tawagan niya ako parati, magkita kami or basta ganun. Medyo nanyari naman un (partly or close). After nun, i hoped for more. Pero ndi na natupad. Ok lang din... ngayon payapa nakong wala siya. the "hunger" for his presence is easier to deal with now that before we had communication. So.. pinaramdam lang sya sakin.

SECONDLY, its about another guy (AKALAIN NIYO UN??? MERON?) Haha! Pero eto, nothing meaningful. Baka isa nanaman sya sa mga persons who came FOR A REASON. Siguro he came para ma test ang emotional stability ko and ung kakayahan kong mag isip ng tama or mali. Or maybe to make me realize the difference between love and whats not love... serious with whats not... and others of that kind. I am nothing more than a friend to him but he treats me like I mean a lot to him. Dyan siguro matetest ung ability ko to stand firm and not to fall for someone who lives in irony. Minsan, gusto ko i etchapwera nalang sya na tipong... tigil mo na yan. Kaso mabait naman sya. what if sincere sya sa pinapakita niya... its just that, hanggang dun lang un? I havent fallen for this guy kaya ok lang na mawala sya. kaso kung sincere pala ung pinapakita niya (kahit hanggang friends lang un), ang sama ko naman kung patigil ko sya sa pagbigay ng attention sakin diba? pero anyway, for today, baka naman huminto na un.

THIRDLY, hmmm... family matters. its too personal. hehe!

FOURTH, medyo may mga nagrerequest ng ilabas ko na ulit pix and friendster profile ko. Sinubukan ko na several times na iupload and maglagay ng profile ko eh... pero i always end up deleting it. Ndi pa rin ako handang magpakita sa mundo ulit. gusto ko pa rin munang maglaho and manahimik sa isang tabi.

FIFTH, kagabi lang to. actually kaninang 2am. Nagtext sakin si angel na napanaginipan daw nya nagswimming sya papunta sa pinaka ilalim ng pool ata un tapos sobrang peaceful. pero pagkagising nya kinabahn sya kasi its not a good sign. Sign of death daw un... so kinabahan ata sya for me. Sabi ko, wala un sis, una, lahat naman ng tao namamatay kaya theres nothing to be afraid of if its my time. next, pwedeng sinisymbolize ng water eh problem. tapos ung pagswim down niya eh magsymbolize na tinry na nyan i-face ung problema. pero kinakabahan pa rin daw sya. after nun, i tried to sleep na ulit. pero ako din nangilabot sa word na "death". takot ako... mag isa lang ako dito sa condo eh. tumaas balahibo ko tsaka para akong nanlamig... wala naman makausap kasi 2am na un. buti nakatulog na rin naman ako although may iba pang nagtext pero about their happiness naman.

SIXTH, nako! i saw my exam sched yesterday. dyosme! march 17- march 19 lang exam ko. 2 subjects for saturday and sunday, 1 on monday. ok lang naman sakin ung ganun pero dyosko! wag naman this coming saturday agad... tax un eh! wala pakong nababasa kahit ano dun.. tapos may digest pako due this sat na rin. tapos, sana wag naman this monday ung civpro... no time to study noh!!! dagdag pa na i have to rest my back every now and then kasi sumasakit kapag nakaupo ako ng matagal. tsk tsk...

ayun... meron pang mas detailed pero sige, yan nalang muna. lilipas din ung iba.

mass fever

2007-03-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

hmmm... napaka relaxing naman nun.. to hear songs of praises... haay...

Happy nanaman ako kasi nag mass ako. Weird nga lang kasi mas gusto kong mag mass kapag hindi ko kasama family ko. haha! bad girl. pero kasi parang thats my moment with god. Minsan nga mas ok pa sakin na wala akong kasama. Pero im looking forward to celebrating mass with my special someone. yiheeee... hehe!

Refiner's Fire

2007-03-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

(Chorus)

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my master
Ready to do your will.

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within and make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin deep within

(Chorus)

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my master
Ready to do your will.

(Chorus)

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my master
Ready to do your will.

You are Near

2007-03-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

1. Yahweh, I know you are near,
standing always at my side.
You guard me from the foe,
and you lead me in ways everlasting.

Lord, you have searched my heart,
and you know when I sit and when I stand.
Your hand is upon me protecting me from death,
keeping me from harm.

2. Where can I run from Your love?
If I climb to the heavens You are there;
If I fly to the sunrise or sail beyond the sea,
still I'd find You there.

3. You know my heart and its ways,
you who formed me before I was born
in the secret of darkness before I saw the sun
in my mother's womb.

4. Marvelous to me are Your works;
how profound are Your thoughts, my Lord.
Even if I could count them,
they number as the stars, Y
ou would still be there.

2nd thought

2007-03-11T17:02:00.000+08:00

My mom slept with me dito sa condo last night. Medyo napag usapan ung about sa surgery. Mukhang ituloy nalang this summer after my finals. Kasi mukhang bumibilis ung paglala ng likod ko. First 2 weeks kasi medyo back pains lang. Pero nung 3rd week, nadamay na pati legs ko. Eh sabi ng Doctor, urgent na ang surgery kapag umabot na sa point na Id have to drag my legs just to move them. Ang situation ko ngayon, masakit ung sa legs ko lalo na kapag nililift ko siya.. like when Im wearing my shorts or kapag medyo malaki ung steps sa stairs. pero ang ndi ok dito eh kasi minsan, I have to lift my legs with the help of my hands.. so kung ganon ang lagay, baka naman ndi ko na magamit legs ko pag pinaabot ko pa ng next summer ung surgery.

Kaso, messy daw un!!! General anaesthesia ang gagawin tapos after ng surgery, may ilalagay pa atang kung ano man sa likod ko pansalo ata sa mga fluid or kung ano man ung lalabas. yikes!

Doctor Doctor

2007-03-10T19:25:00.000+08:00

Madami dami rin nanyari sakin these past few days but some, I cant write here kasi may taong posibleng makabasa na ndi naman dapat. hehe!

Anyways, kanina my mom went to Cardinal Santos Hospital to consult Dr. Jimmy Tamayo regarding the results of my MRI. Sabi ni Doc, theres a need for me to undergo surgery kasi ung buto daw bandang spine ko eh tumutusok na sa nerves ng spine ata. Basta parang ganun. Delikado daw kasi baka mas lumala pa damage. Syempre si mami medyo kinabahan kasi ayaw talaga nyang surgery ang gagawin sakin. Bali, 3 hours ung surgery, around 2 days bed rest, tapos mga 1 week stay sa hospital. PF? Grabe! P100,000!!! PF palang un ha. tapos P40,000 para sa anaesthesiologist (tama ba?), then... I forgot ung cost ng room for 1 week stay. Basta aabot sa around P250,000 ung gagastusin. Lupet! anyway, siguro bigtime lang masyado ung Dr na un. Un ata doctor ni Sharon Cuneta. hehe!

So si mami, ndi nakuntento. Gusto niyang makarinig ng doctor na magsasabing ndi na kailangan ng surgery. She went to UST and consulted Dr. Lasam. Buti naman mas ok to. Hehe! talagang inexplain ung nanyari. Sabi ni Doc, THERE IS A NEED TO UNDERGO SURGERY BUT ITS NOT URGENT. So medyo nakampante na si mami. Sabi ni Doc, desisyon ko naman daw kung gusto ko na or wag muna.

When my mom told me about this, sabi ko, kung ndi naman pala urgent ung surgery, eh di wag muna. Not this summer kasi baka ndi ako maka summer class. Maybe next summer. Ang delikado nga lang kasi dito, ndi na bubuti ung kalagayan ng likod/ slipped disc ko. Sira na talaga sya and fragile na. So its either ma maintain lang ung sitwasyon or mag worsen, depende kung pano ko sya aalagaan. Ibig sabihin, bawal ako magsports (swimming lang daw pwede), bawal magkarga ng mga mabibigat or basta makaka pressure sa back ko, tapos as much as possible, move and turn like a "log", refrain from sitting or standing for a long time... preferrably lie down to relax my back, etc... Lahat yan kailangan kong gawin para ndi na magworsen ung condition... ibig sabihin, life time maintenance na to. DAMN! Ang isa pang danger, kapag may sudden blow sa likod ko, delikado un! Kasi pwedeng ma gravely injure ung likod ko, pwedeng lalong maipit ung nerves which may lead to paralysis. (so ayan ha, mga galit sakin, may idea na kyo pano makaganti sakin! hehe!)

Un lang naman... Sayang talaga! limitado na movements and activities ko!

grrr

2007-03-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

NAIINIS AKO! NAIINIS AKO! NAIINIS AKO!

NAIINIS AKO SA MGA TAONG NANGGUGULO SA NANANAHIMIK KONG BUHAY. LECH!

(sorry)

ALIVE

2007-03-07T11:50:00.000+08:00

WHEW! Tapos nako pa MRI kanina. Nakakakaba at first kasi they made ma answer muna a questionnaire asking for my medical history. Tsaka, katakot sagutan at magkamali kasi may mga ichecheck ka dun na magmamatter talaga kapag mali ka kasi pwedeng makaapekto sa MRI mo. Like there was a Q na kung may metal implant ba daw ako sa katawan. Pagkakaalala ko wala pero biglang napaisip ulit ako... baka kasi mamaya may nakaligtaan lang ako eh. Haha! Tapos before I entered the MRI room, medyo napaisip ako kung ano nga bang mangyayari sa loob. Pano may chinese guy na lumabas na galing din sa MRI. Aba! umiling ba naman paglabas tapos nakatingin sakin na parang sinasabi "tsk tsk".. haha! syempre mapapaisip ka anong pinagdaanan nya diba? hehe!

Anyway, ung mismong MRI process naman, ok lang. Relax lang ako dun. Medyo naidlip ako konti while inside the tube-like machine. Medyo maingay nga sya pero minsan minsan lang tapos medyo may vibration. Para kang sumakay ng airplane, nakahiga nga lang. Bwal kang gumalaw sa loob so steady lang dapat kasi kung ndi, uulitin mo ung buong proseso. Ok naman din ung loob ng tube.. parang sa movie.. ung Alien ba un? Basta, ung mga tinutulugan ng characters sa movie. haha! cool!

SLIPPED DISC

2007-03-06T20:08:00.000+08:00

I had my check-up kanina with Dr. Tamayo, an orthodontix surgeon in Cardinal Santos. First step was to, of course, ask what Im there for. He then asked me to stand and bend back, forward, side ward and tell him if I feel any pain. Then he asked me to lie down, lifted keft then right leg, pulled it sideways.. or basta... parang binabali nya. Haha! tapos he held my big toe and asked me to counter his pressure over it. Kung baga, pinupush niya ung toe ko, ako naman kontrahin ko un. Then he used the 'doctor's hammer' and tried to hit my knees to check my reflexes ata. Ayun, tapos recommended that I undergo the Lumbar Region Xray. It cost us Php850 ata. tapos Doctor's Fee was around P650 ata.

The result? First he said I had scoliosis. Napanganga ako... ako? nagka scolio? Unbelievable! Pero sabi nya, its the least thing that I should be worried of. So napahinga ako. Mali pala pagkaintindi ko... ang sabi nga pala niya LEAST. Ibig sabihin, may iba pang dapat ipagka worry ko, and it is existing. I have SLIPPED DISC!

SLIPPED DISC has been defined as a bulging of one of the rubbery, shock-absorbing, discs that lie between most vertebrae in the spine. The bulge presses on the adjacent nerves causing pain and sometimes muscle weakness. The bulging occurs between the vertebrae in the neck (cervical) and waist (lumbar) regions.

Sakin, sa waist (lumbar) banda. Parang ang nanyari daw eh ung jelly-like substance contained in a tough fibrous casing (which is responsible for absorbing shock-movements sa spine area) sakin eh parang nauubos na daw. Numinipis kaya ung space between my discs became smaller. Nang dahil dun, naiipit ung nerves ko and with that, apektado ung legs and hips ko. Un pala ung reason kung bakit sumasakit likod, hips and legs ko. THERES NO SUCH THING AS NAIPIT NA UGAT, btw. Kasi kung nagkaganun, wala ng dugong dadaloy sayo. o nga naman diba! tsk tsk..

Anyway, inask ko gano kalala ung extent ng damage sa lumbar area ko. Sabi niya, ndi pa sigurado pero kasi, kung back pain lang naman, no problem pa un. Madali lang daw masolusyonan. Pero kung apektado na legs ko, thats something else. So he recommended that I undergo MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging-see pix above). That would cost us around P8k ++ daw. GOODNESS! Ang purpose nun eh para mas makita ung extent of damage para masabi din nya treatment which could go as far as a surgery (dyosme!!! Magkano nanaman un! mukhang back out na si mami sa deal namin na bili nyako fone kapag na reach ko ideal weight ko.. huhuhuhu)

So inask ko, panong klase ba yang MRI na yan. Inask ako ng doctor kung Claustrophobic ba daw ako. Sabi ko, mukhang ndi naman po. Bakit, ano po bang itsura nun? Sabi nya, hihiga daw ako tapos ipapasok sa parang tube for 45-60mins. NAY KO PO! Mukha palang ililibing ako ng buhay nun! So sabi nya, matagal un kaya inaask kita kung claustrophobic ba daw ako. I found out through research na kapag sobrang claustrophobic ka, bigyan ka nila ng general anesthesia. Buti nalang ndi ako takot... kundi, dagdag gastos nanaman!!! sabi nya, pwede daw ako gumamit ng walkman or makinig habang nandun. Sabi ko, text text pwede po ba? Hehe! Hindi daw, medyo ndi daw ako makakagalaw dun tsaka walang signal. Haha! So un... mukhang boring ang pag pa MRI ko tom.. ultrasound din ata un. Pero buti sched ko tom eh 8am. Ibig sabihin, antok pako nun. Tutulugan ko nalang ung pag MRI sakin. Pagbawal matulog, MAGKAMATAYAN NA KAMI! la akong balak humiga ng ganun katagal tapos dapat gising. Speaking of... sana may unan. hehe!

OTHER MRI INFOS:

Very high strength of magnetic field is needed to produce scans (around 60,000 times the earth's own magnetic field effects) ayos! May sinasabi na nakakamatay daw un kung minsan (whoa???!!! sige, mamatay na kung mamatay! basta yokong masaktan!). Kasi may ferromagnetic bottle na tinry minsan doon malapit tapos ang nanyari, na suck daw daw papasok sa bore ng magnet then oscillated in the air.. whatver... basta un.

It heats up the body, big time! and may cause hyperthermia especially to obese people.. oh noh! obese bako? i lost weight naman na eh!

Acoustic noise or loud noises and vibrations are produced which sound intensity can reach 130 dB (equivalent to a jet engine take off) WOOOWW!! HEBIGAT! Mabibingi din pala ako dun!

Oh well... ayun... wish ko talaga ndi ako mag undergo ng surgery. Ang mahal nanaman nun eh! kawawa naman sila mami. Sana gumaling pa tong likod ko. I NEED A MIRACLE!!! hindi na tuloy ako makakapaglaro ng mga sports, takbo takbo, lift heavy objects, etc... ano pang silbi ko?!? hehe! Jk! drama! pero true, bawal ang pressure sa likod. ang pinakanagustuhan kong recommendation ng doc eh i need to rest more often.. as in bed rest. hehehehe! pero teka, lapit na po finals. tsk tsk...

Ang bad pa dito, if I undergo surgery, ibig sabihin ndi ako makakapag summer class??? SHIYET! DELAYED NA TALAGA AKO SOBRA NITO! *sniff*. May nabasa pakong experience ng isang girl na may slipped disc, she had to take 2 months bed rest. Wala pang surgery un ha! Naman naman! Ndi ko talaga akalain magkakaron ako ng ganito.

Kaso medyo matagal ng sumasakit sakit tong likod ko. December 2005. Tapos pabalik balik without treatment or medications being taken. Hay good lord!

endangered

2007-03-05T10:43:00.000+08:00

buhuhuhu... ang dami kong sakit sa katawan. = ( tumatanda na ba talaga ako? I mean, syempre I'm not getting any younger (except for my baby face *hehe!*). Tom ata papa check up ako ni mami sa "neurosurgeon" dahil sa pain sa likod ko na mukhang slipped disc daw. tsk tsk.. wag naman sana.

Next, kagabi pag upo ko biglang sumakit ung upper left leg ko. Banda dun sa joint connecting my body. Ang sakit talaga. Hindi ko ma lift ung legs ko. Parang may naipit na ugat eh. Nako! problema ko, pano ako mamaya sa class. eh hirap ngang ma lift ung leg ko... 2nd floor pa man din ung room ko! Ilang steps paakyat ng stairs un!!!! sige... slow motion nalang. waaahhh!!!!

Love in the Words of the Court

2007-03-05T00:21:00.000+08:00

( Compiled by Atty. Richard Pascual, Office of the Reporter )

“There is nothing objectionable in her taking advantage of the law to give tangible expression to her maternal love, which is, without any doubt, universally considered the most sublime feeling nature has infused in human hearts. The feeling is so elemental that it is not unknown even to the lowest phyla of the animal kingdom. That even the fiercest wild animals are not devoid of such feeling is a wonder that cannot fail to move [the] most indifferent person.” (GR No. L- 1663, Florentina Villahermosa v. The Commissioner of Immigration, March 31, 1948)

“The nuptial vows which solemnly intone the matrimonial promise of love ‘(f)or better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part,‘ are sometimes easier said than done, for many a marital union figuratively ends on the reefs of matrimonial shoals. In the case now before us for appellate review, the marriage literally ended under circumstances which the criminal law, disdainful of romanticism, bluntly calls the felony of parricide.” (GR No. 102984. People of the Philippines v. Ruben Takbobo, June 30, 1993)

“Marital union is a two-way process. An expressive interest in each other’s feelings at a time it is needed by the other can go a long way in deepening the marital relationship. Marriage is definitely not for children but for two consenting adults who view the relationship with love… respect, sacrifice and a continuing commitment to compromise, conscious of its value as a sublime social institution.” (GR No. 119190, Chi Ming Tsoi v. Court of Appeals and Gina Lao- Tsoi, January 16, 1997)

”We cannot castigate a man for seeking out the partner of his dreams, for marriage is a sacred and perpetual bond which should be entered into because of love, not for any other reason.” (GR No. 97369, Patricia Figueroa, v. Simeon Barranco, Jr., July 31, 1997)

OH HAPPY DAY!

2007-03-04T20:04:00.000+08:00

Happy ako. :) Masaya naman ako since last night till this evening before I went home. Syempre ok pa rin ako till now. Daming kaganapan since last night.

03-03-07; 7pm-12:05mn

Been texting Sis erica and my friend Zsamu for several hours. Medyo kinukulit nila ako na pumunta sa joint activity party ng TOL and quorum sa Forbest Grill, Malate tonight. Eh medyo malabo pako kasi have to study for tom's LABOREL Finals, 9am. First reading ko lang ba naman ng libro tapos finals na noh!

Pero natuloy pa rin ako sa Forbest Grill. Hehe! 1-hour nga lang. Fulfilling naman! Andun mga brods and sis pati some friends from Beda. Happy ako kasi naka kwentuhan ko pa sila Dean (thats his real name) and Zsamu, both were my blockmates in Beda nung 1st yr. Ayun, kwentuhan and kamustahan lang. Halos wala namang nagbago sa closeness namin. Kakatuwa nga kasi 2 years na kaming ndi nagkakasama pero ok pa rin kami kahit 1 year lang pinagsamahan namin sa Beda.

talagang sinadya kong maka attend sa party kahit for 1 HOUR lang ako dun... as in drop by lang. Bakit? Kasi una, kinukulit ako ni Zsams. Eh sobrang ndi na kami nagkikita nun for such a long time!!! kaya sige, kahit ndi ko pa tpos laborel ko, punta nalang ako kahit saglit lang. Next, andun si SY and Phil. Si SY kasi medyo tampo na daw dahil lagi nalang akong wala kapag andun sya. Kaya naman nung nakita ko sya sa Forbest, mega hug bigay ko for my most loved brod! :) Next is Philipp. Eto tampo talaga kasi nakailang gatherings nako ng TOL or meeting na ndi umaattend tapos andun sya lagi tinetext ako na attend. Ayan tuloy, puro HMPH and reply sakin. hehehe!

03-04-07; 12:05am onwards

Eto, sweet. Tuwa naman ako kay bro dear (wont mention his name... baka dapat censored eh. hahaha!) When I left Forbest, nagtext sakin ingat nalang daw ako pauwi and medyo tampo kasi ndi ko man lang daw sya kinausap. Hindi naman daw ako malapitan kasi may iba akong kausap. Sabi ko sa kanya eh may katabi syang girl... dont wanna interrupt. Tapos ayon, text ko sa kanya na I miss him. Reply nya "same here dear sis" (YIHEEEEE). Tinext ko si erica, sabi ko sa kanya paki hug nalang si bro dear for me. ginawa naman din nya tapos text sakin si bro dear, mas maaappreciate daw nya ung hug kung galing sakin mismo. So, sige, nagpromise ako sa kanya the next time we see each other, hug ko sya. Reply naman nya, "hug na mahigpit dear sis! I miss you so much!". Hindi nako nagreply, ayun na text tuloy ako na snob daw ako. Hehe! Pero i told him na nag aaral nako tapos *mwah*. HMP nanaman daw, bat un lang. Dapat hugs and kisses. O sige, sabi ko "*mwahugz*" . "BADUY" daw. hehe! eh di napareply ako na ano pa bang gusto nya? buti nga may binigay ako, eh Ako, I didnt get anything from him. touched naman ako nung nagreply sya, "Pagnagkita tau, ull get everything". pero reply ko "katakot naman un" hehe! Sweet diba?

O nako, wag lagyan ng malisya ha. Masarap ang feeling ng may kalambingan... makes us feel younger... maybe even glowing... and makes us feel special, loved and appreciated. Kahit na no more than friends ung tingin, basta ba the feeling is mutual (na friends lang), ok na un. At least, ur within the same level, walang masasaktan unless may nag fall. And im thankful for dear bro na sinecure naman akong kapatid lang tingin nya. Kasi I feel the same way. At least, pareho kaming kahit gano maging ka sweet and caring sa isat isa, we both know na kapatid ang level namin. SAFE.

03-04-07; 10am-130pm

Nako! halos wala akong tulog kasi nagcacram for LABOREL exam. First time ko ata tong pumasok ng school ng ndi pa nakakaligo. hehe!!! Kulang na kasi sa oras... ndi pako tapos mag aral. At tama ba namang, ndi tuloy and exam??? Pero ok lang din, unprepared ako eh. So maaga kaming dinismiss ni Atty Poquiz, tapos diretso kaming Dencio's sa Harbour Square. masaya! Kwentuhan kami dun ng mga classmates ko. Muntik pakong ndi sumama kasi tinatamad ako. pero sige nalang din, last hurrah for the subject. Masaya kami!!! About relationships, boys and girls ang topic. Dami kong nalaman. Hehe! Wala ring na bore. basta masaya! Sa sandaling nagkasama kami for lunch lang, sobrang na appreciate ko classmates ko. We shouldve done this sooner. Sana nakapag hang out kami noon pa.

03-04-07; 2pm-330pm

Tulog lang ako nito. hehe!

03-04-07; 4-6pm

Class sa investment law. Ang galing! Hindi ako inantok kahit lecture lang to by Atty. Gapuz. hehe!!! Katuwa naman din katabi si therese and kuya jun. Ang kukulit

03-04-07; 6pm-7pm

FULFILLED! Finally nakapag mass nako. :) tapos na araw ko.. Ok na un. Maya naman mag aral siguro ako ng civpro, although im not in the mood pa. hehehe!

JUST FRIENDS

2007-03-04T19:21:00.001+08:00

I got this short write up from the SPECIAL VALENTINES SECTION of LEY GAZETTE way back in 2002 pa ata. Kaso medyo putol eh kaya dunno din whos the author.

A man meets a woman and begins to show interest in her. He asks her to spend time with him on a regular basis: hiking, biking, and watching videos. He calls her at least once a week just to talk. He begins telling her about the deepest things in his heart and invites her to share at this level as well. he sends her mushy "friendship" card and tells her that she means a great deal to him. He may become a little affectionate: the hugs begin to linger. The relationship has been defined as friendship, if it has been defined at all. But after all this special attention, the woman is definitely feeling more. So she asks the guy what's going on. To her surprise, he does a quick about face. He insists they are just friends. After that, he avoids her, leaving her hurt and bewildered. She feels rejected; she has lost not onlu a romantic interest (she thought) but worse, a close and trusted friend. And she feels stupid. Did she really misread all those signals?

A guy wants to get to know a girl, but without the presure of dating. So he spends a lot of time with her, treating her in many ways like a girlfriend but defining the relaitonship as friends. this way, if it begins to look like theres no future in the relationship, or hes not ready to "get serious", he can back away with no messy breakup. It sounds like a nice arrangement- for the guy. but that approach can be a problem for the woman.

If a man tells a woman he just wants to "be friends" but he treats her like its more than friendship, she will believe his behavior instead of his words. it sets her up for a big disappointment. Or if he invokes the "just friends" mantra after being asked about the nature of the relationship, but then promptly begin to distance himself from the friendship, again, his actions do not match his words. He may think hes sparing her feelings by avoiding a breakup. But by defining the relationship as friendship, he hurts her even more deeply when he disappears. A dating relationship comes with certain risks. But she expects a friendship; especially such a close one to continue. Think about it this way: a broken dating relationship says only, "I dont want to marry you"; a broken friendship says to he, "I dont want/ value you on any level."

Taking a woman down this path violates two scriptural principles.

1) ITS DISHONEST. the apostle Paul said that it was the way of the world not of a godly man to say yes, yes and no, no in the same breath (2 Cor. 1:17). A man of integrity will call a relationship what it is.

2) IT IS NOT KIND OR LOVING. The "just friends" approach may be safer for the guy, but it is harmful to the woman. In effect, he is asking for the rewards of a dating relationship, companionship, emotional intimacy, and even affection without the responsibility. He is playing with her heart, and he heart will probably get broken.

someones knocking?

2007-03-04T00:29:00.000+08:00

Someone's taking my mind off another person. Is he worth it? Well, I feel more care from him than the other one. BUT I dont think he sees me the way Im beginning to see him. Nako... cant allow myself to fall any deeper this time. NO ONES WORTH IT as of this moment. But I do appreciate the little affection he's giving me. Sweet... very sweet. And caring. Pagod lang siguro to.

hit

2007-03-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

break me If you can.

it'll hurt but i'll get through.

pain?

someday i'll get used to it.

someday, i'll learn to love it.

someday, i'll be looking for it.

then...

it'll be all yours.

TRISKELION

2007-03-02T15:40:00.000+08:00

I LOVE

TRISKELION ORDER OF LAW!!!

But most especially,

I LOVE MY FELLOW TRISKELIONS!

Daming nanyari just this february. And because of those series of events, im sure lalong tumindi ung kapatiran namin. Mas lalo naming naappreciate ang bawat isa and mas lalo naming minahal ang TOL. Ill name a few of those events na makikita kong sobrang totoo ang kapatiran namin and kung gano kahalaga para samin ang bawat isa.

STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS

All out support ang mga brods and sis sa pag run ni Kuya Vic for SC President. May balloons pa na binili for him tapos laging TOL nagbabantay ng booth. Simula sa umpisa ng elections until victory party, nandun lahat. Saya diba? Tapos tulong tulong din sa paghatak ng mga boto for kuya vic and other candidates from alyansa. :)

HOUSE ON FIRE

One of our sis nasunugan ng buong bahay. They lost almost everything. Thank God no one was hurt from their family... safe naman. Sobrang nakakatouch ginawa ng mga triskelions. Nung gabi nun, nagpuntahan sa site tapos naghelp magpack and magkarga ng mga gamit na medyo na save tapos naghanap din ng apartment for my sis' family. Nagcontribute bawat isa ng cash para may pangraos ung sis and family tapos tuloy tuloy pa rin mga donations. They went home from the site around 2am na ata. Ganun sila ka willing mag help.

POSSESSED

My brod's girlfriend got possessed daw by some spirit-whatever. May sorority din naman ung girl, ewan ko nga lang ba bakit ndi sumipot or baka ndi talaga nila tinawag. Pero mga brods and sis ko tumulong dun. Nagstay sila sa hotel to assist the girl and hinatid pa somewhere far from here para ipacheck sa "esperetista". Sobrang pag aasikaso ginawa sa kanya nun kahit ndi namin sya sis.

Hindi ata ako magaling magkwento sa blog. Pero those were more than just stories. Daming nanyari during those events na talagang makikita and mararamdaman mo ung pakikiramay and readiness to help ng mga triskelions.

Sana lang, ung mga ndi member ng TOL, mag ingat sa mga sinasabi about samin. Wag i-generalize ang mga members ng TAU GAMMA SIGMA/ PHI. Hindi kami war freak. Marunong lang and ready lumaban kung kinakailangan. Pero always, nasa tamang disposisyon and paninindigan.

Like any other human being, nagkakamali din kami. Pero hanggat sa kaya, dun kami sa tama.

eternal bliss

2007-03-02T13:10:00.000+08:00

haaay... saddening naman. I asked my friend from PGH kung may alam ba syang charity work sa PGH na tumatanggap ng volunteers. sabi nya parang wala daw or wala lang talga syang alam. Ewan... na feel ko nanamang mag go into charity work. hindi ko pa un nagagawa this year except syempre for some help i give to my friends/ sis/ bro. Kung nagreply sya sakin na meron, today sana ako puntang PGH. syempre yoko namang malayo, ndi ako marunong mag commute! haha! tsaka hopefully sa PGH nga lang sna... at least malapit. Pero ano ba talagang ok na charity work??? hindi naman kasi pwedeng pang isang araw.. commitment ang kailangan.. dedication! Pangit naman kung magbibigay lang ng money. Charity ba tawag sa maki hang out lang sa mga problematic? Like those in prison, rehab, rape victims, victim ng child abuse... etc? Ung tipong makikipag usap lang sa kanila? Charity ba un? hehe! Mahilig naman akong makipag usap eh. Tsaka interesado ako sobra na malaman mga bagay bagay... so interested!

Parang kailangan kong may magawang parang charity... basta maka help... ewan! May kakaibang saya na mararamdaman kapag naka help ka. Gusto kong maramdaman ulit un.

Just do good, wherever you are, however you can. The rewards here are not much... but you will find an inner happiness you cant buy with all the money in the world-- Bro. Dante

absentee

2007-03-01T22:13:00.000+08:00

Awww... touched naman ako kay SY. Ilang beses na ata akong hinahanap eh. Tuwing nalang nagpupunta sya AUSL, wala ako. Kakamiss un! Isa sa mga pinaka matino kong brod! hehe!!! Miss you, bro! :) Sensya ndi ako nakapunta sa 1st Ini. Sensya din, ndi ako nagdrop by sa school nung nagpunta ka for the neos. And hehe... ndi ako nakasama sa Danny's Grill.

Ung isa pa, dear bro Phil. Tampo na ata... ndi din kasi ako sumunod sa Danny's Grill. Sorry po...

Erica and Xy, sensya din... ndi ako makareply ng miss you too. Dadating din ako dyan, im sure.

Hindi ko maintindihan pinagdadaanan ko right now. Kuntento akong walang nakakausap and nakikita kahit sino. Kuntento akong mag isa dito sa condo and ndi makasama sa mga lakad ng mga tao. Lilipas din to...

sleep

2007-03-01T02:37:00.000+08:00

NAKU NAKU NAKU!!! la nakong ginawa kundi matulog!!! kakakain lang, tulog agad! ah sus!!!

futuristic

2007-02-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

I wonder what the future holds for me...

Will I really achieve my ideal weight?
Will I still be studying in AUSL come first sem next school year?
Will I meet the right guy for me?

If not, do I have the capacity to change that? or... totoo nga bang nakatakda na ang dapat?

Wala... napaisip lang ako.

my aim

2007-02-28T15:42:00.000+08:00

I AM AIMING FOR A BIG CHANGE. AS IN BIIIIG!!!!

HAIL TO ME! hehe

2007-02-28T01:55:00.000+08:00

At last! Natapos ko din ung pag encode ng Chief's notes sa crimpro! 'Nak ng! Parang wala din naman akong natutunan. Hehe! Lagot ako kay Rage, late na sa internal deadline namin. tsk tsk... Isa pang medyo prob dito, si Fred pa lang member ko and maybe khalid. Eh dyosme! Friends nga naman kasi. Haha! eh si Fredo medyo busy pa un kasi batch rep pa. Si khalid naman, sige lang, volunteer lang! Eh busy din un dahil hawak naman niya pubcorp. haha! Damayan nalang ata to sa hirap o ginhawa.

What else... today, I ate sinful foods!!! Dami kong nakain na toasted bread with butter and sugar, tapos banana split flavored ice cream, tapo sashimi, etc... dami eh! Pero the good thing here naman eh basta simula 2007, parang I lost at least 10 lbs!!! Akalain mo un!!! Sana tuloy tuloy na to. Medyo motivated naman ako kasi may bet kami ng mga sis ko na until now ndi pa well conceptualized ung deadline tsaka kung ilang pounds ba dapat ma lose. Tapos may deal din ako with my mom na kapag na reach ko ung ideal weight ko, bibili nya ako new phone. Sabi ko gusto ko Nokia N93i. hehehe! Target ko, mareach ung ideal weight ko by... MARCH 14! Kaya ko un!!! Crash diet na to! hehehe! Bahala na... to nalang aatupagin ko in the mean time.

Next... hmm.. ah! Kanina naiisip ko lang about THE HIM. Wala... nung ibang araw diba kinda inis ako kasi parang i was mislead? Pero kanina naisip ko, ok lang din. Sige, masaktan kung masaktan. Mapaasa kung mapaasa. Magagalit ako. Sasama loob ko. Pero ndi ko ilalaban sarili ko. Bahala na mga tao sa tabi tabi kung sasaktan nila ako. Ill take the blows, thats ok. Masakit pero tatanggapin ko. Its not martyrdom. naisip ko lang na those experiences will help me grow and face more challenges. Kahit anong sakit ibigay sakin, masakit man, may matututunan ako. If nakayanan kong lampasan un, eh di GOOD! At least next time may pasakit akong kailangang harapin, i know na kung pano dalhin and malampasan ulit un.

"xxx...xxx"

2007-02-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

"xxx Since i've said what i came here to say
Guess i'd better be going on my way
But before i go i just got to let you know
You're the only one who can make me happy again xxx"

WHY?

2007-02-25T13:43:00.000+08:00

Why do you always do this to me?

Why couldn’t you just see it through me

how come you act like this

like u just dont care at all

do you expect me to believe

I was the only one to fall

I can feel I can feel you near me

even though your far away

I can fell I can feel you baby why?

Its not supposed to feel this way

I need you I need you

more and more each day

its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you

I need you tell me

are you and me still together tell me

do think we could last forever

tell me why?

Hay listen to what we’re not saying

lets play a different game than what we’re playing

try to look at me and really see my heart

do you expect me to believe

I’m gonna let us fall apart

I can fell I can feel you near me

even when your far away

I can feel I can feel you baby why?

Its not supposed to feel this way

I need you I need you

more and more each day

its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you

I need you tell me

are you and me still together

tell me do think we could last forever

tell me why?

So go and think about

whatever you need to think about

go and dream about whatever you need to dream about

and come back to me when you know just how you feel

you feel

I can feel I can feel you near me

even though your far away

I can feel I can feel you baby why?

Its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you more and more each day

its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you I need you

tell me its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you

I need you more and more each day

its not supposed to hurt this way

I need you I need you I need

tell me are you and me still together

tell me do think we could last forever tell me why?

- AVRIL LAVIGNE

Alone and content

2007-02-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

Its been weeks since I last stayed at the law library. havent been studying there for quite some time. Its been weeks na din since I last made tambay in school for such long hours. My brods, sises and friends were asking me na bakit ako nagkukulong dito sa condo. This week nga lang, I missed 3 night gimiks na. This week, nagtambay sa kamalig mga brods and sis and kwentuhan dun tapos nung isang araw, they went to Danny's Grill. Ngayong gabi naman nag eenjoy sila sa school kasi lager night. Ako, eto, alone in my condo. but Im not bored. Im actually having the time of my life. Nagmumuni muni, nood TV, download ng mga tugtog, kinig sa mga kanta, gawa ng Chief's notes, etc. Im definitely not bored. I may be alone, but Im not lonely. Eto, every now and then pa online online and net surfing. Wala lang... wala lang talaga akong ganang mag stay ngayon sa school. I go there just to attend my class tapos I go straight back home. Halos ndi na kami nagkikita ng mga brods and sis ko tsaka other friends. Puro classmates ko lang nakikita ko. hehe! Eh yun... ewan ko kung kailan ba ulit ako mapapatambay sa school. Ang sama nga eh, ni ndi ko man lang namimiss ung mga tao. pero karamihan sa kanila medyo text na ng text sakin na magpakita, makipagkwentuhan, tumambay and all. Tsk tsk tsk... sorry...

Kuntento naman din ako so far. Improvements? Well, wala nakong namimiss na mga hinayupak na kung sino sino. Medyo, wala ng tinitibok ang puso ko (haha!). Basta, medyo Im free! And malapit ng maging mas free. Pero syempre, I'll never know... paiba iba ang takbo ng buhay eh. Tipong kung kailan nakawala ka na and malaya, biglang may dadating para manggulo ulit sa buhay mo. tapos balik ka nanaman sa phase na puro tanong ang iniisip mo and mga sagot na ndi naman dadating hanggang sa magsawa ka na ulit and aayos buhay mo tapos biglang may manggugulo ulit... AY SUS! Bilog ang mundo! Paikot ikot lang mga panyayari.

Lead Me Lord

2007-02-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

Lead me Lord
Lead me by the hand
And make me face the rising sun
Comfort me through all the pain
That life may bring
There’s no other hope
That I can lean upon
Lead me Lord
Lead me all my life

Walk by me
Walk by me across
The lonely road that I may face
Take my arms and let your hand
Show me the way
Show the way to live inside your heart
All my days, all my life

[refrain]
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light
I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
Lead me Lord

Lead me Lord
Even though at times
I’d rather go alone my way
Help me take the right direction
Take Your road
Lead me Lord
And never leave my side
All my days,
All my life

[refrain 2]
You are my light
You’re the lamb upon my feet
All the time my Lord
I need You there
You are my light
I (just) cannot live alone
Let me stay by Your guiding love
All through my life
All through my days
Lead me, O Lord
Lead me Lord

HECTIC

2007-02-22T10:02:00.000+08:00

OH GOODNESS!!! Today is gonna be a very busy day for me! hindi ko na nga alam pano ko ba pagkakasyahin schedule ko eh. Last night... this morning pala, I slept past 3:30am na and woke up 7:00am. Had to make a Special Power of Attorney for BO1, finish Criminal Procedure Chief's Notes (200 more pages to read and 9 pages to revise), Study and prepare for recits in BO1, go to the RTC to interview a Sheriff.... WAAAAHHH!!!! Have to do all these before 430pm!!!

Ok pala talagang may blog noh? Kuntento nako kahit walang kausap... basta I am able to chat down my rants and raves and wuts bothering me. Un nga lang, ndi naman magrereply tong blog ko eh. Haha!

Pero carry lang din. Akalain niyo, ndi nako nakakapag library for almost 3 weeks na ata. Dito lang ako sa Condo (alone) and lumalabas lang kapag class time na and minsan pag gabi kapag may lakad. hindi naman ako bored kahit halos walang nakakausap except for some friends texting me and some night-callers. Kung baga, most of my time is spent with myself... solong solo ko and sarili ko. Un nga lang ang masama, usually kung ano ano naiisip ko. hehe! well, at least I have the internet and the TV to keep me sane.

Jesus Take the Wheel

2007-02-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

Jesus take the wheel

Take it from my hands

Cause I can't do this all on my own

I'm letting go

So give me one more chance

To save me from this road I'm on

Jesus take the wheel

spur of d' moment

2007-02-21T13:55:00.000+08:00

i wanna go Church-hopping! Just felt like doing that... pero not during Bisita Iglesia ng Holy Week. tsaka not with my family kasi ndi naman ako makakapagmuni muni kapag kasama ko sila, ndi pwedeng mag emote. haha!

Im letting go of

2007-02-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

1. the people thats causing me pain.
2. my bad thoughts... thoughts that tend to pull me down and results to depression.

... teka.. i think i need some time to think about this. Baka ndi pa pala ako ready. haha!

Glowing inside

2007-02-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

"Being a woman created by God is such a privilege- and the gift of femininity is something we can give to ourselves and to the people around us. At its best, our femininity arises naturally, out of who we are, and finds its natural expression in the way we live our lives and make our homes"

- Emilie Barnes

After reading this, I plan on helping my innerself glow... glow brighter... bright enough to brighten ones day. I'll think of happy thoughts. I'll try to have a more positive outlook about life. I'll smile more often. I'll pray more often and strengthen my faith... get closer to God... surrender myself, my life for him.

Gusto ko

2007-02-20T21:06:00.000+08:00

1. ng new cellphone! ung may video and camera na 5mega pixels ba tawag dun? basta ganun!

2. umalis and punta sa medyo malayong lugar tapos magpalamig and pahangin... mapuno, may tubig, fresh air, ok ang view.. haay...

3. matapos na tong chief's notes na to! kaso nahihilo ako kapag nagaanalyze ng mga pinagsasasabi ng libro and kung pano ko iprepresenta sa memory aid!

4. mag ice skating with my friends! wala lang.. bigla ko lang naisip.

5. maging invisible everytime na gustuhin ko.

6. matutong lumipad!!!! hehehe!

7. matutunan ang telekinesis!

8. mabasa and marinig mga nasa isip ng mga tao

9. makausap si Lord and ask him things... tapos sasagutin nya lahat ng mga tanong ko.

10. mag improve ang memory retrieval ko.

ayy..hala sige mangarap ka ulit noelle!

First thought

2007-02-20T07:26:00.000+08:00

'Had a goodnight sleep except for some minimal phone check up I usually do in the middle of my sleep. Goodthing, there were no messages sent subconsciously. Otherwise, kill me!!! I've got some "classified" thoughts I wouldn't dare expose!

Woke up early today (ei! diz iz somethin'! i dont usually rise from bed at this hour whenever Im in Cainta!). And my first thought? A message:

I did my part. I laid my cards already. Is that all i'm getting from you? I don't think I deserve just "that"! But i can't blame you. If thats how you feel...no wait... IF you DONT "FEEL", then I won't insist on some illusion I thought was existing. Ilusyon nga lang naman,diba? Maybe I overrated your "friendliness". I totally forgot about that warning thats been spinnin' around... be wary of dangerously misleading guys.

Hell! I can't believe I'd fall for this again! Tanga ba ako? or Assuming?

I remember 2 years ago, I grew very close to this guy, we'd text each other sweet nothings from morning till evening and give at least a 5-minute call for each other. Cellphone call, that is! Parang ndi pa sapat na gabi gabi magkasama naman kami sa classroom for at least 4 hours.

In the morning we greet each other, blessed with a short prayer. At night, he'll give me those "goodnight and sweetdreams" sorta messages ended with "baby ann" or "mami ann" pet names. Morning next-day he'll tell me things like, "I miss you...". Agad??? And then at night, "Puntahan kita dyan tom 6am, lets have breakfast together, k?" Sweet.

Whats weird was that we don't talk when inside the room. Nobody even knew we text each other everyday, everynight and even almost every hour! They didnt know we were 'close' because we really weren't in school.

Thats just how far we came. At least there were none of those lingering touches. It could have meant somethin' more. And it could've hurt me even more.

Sige, assuming na nga siguro ako. But I just find it unfair! I dont usually give that much affection for someone without 'meaning' it. Pero here comes a guy who'd give more than I can and expects me to believe that those were just sweet-nothings!

Ay nako! Sabi na eh! Mas safe kung magpaka "bato", "manhid" o "bakal" nalang ako.

How do you choose the RIGHT ONE?

2007-02-20T00:22:00.000+08:00

Does this man want you? Is he pursuingyou? The man who is right for you willpursue you and God's hand in therelationship will be clear. Noguessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.Scripture says: "He who finds a wifefinds what is good and receives favorfrom the Lord" (Prov 18:22). Note - whofinds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE.From the beginning of time, God hastransported men & women across theworld in order to put them together. Atthe RIGHT TIME, He will bring that manon the scene and he will find you. InGod's perfect design, the man is theone who recognizes his mate. Adam hasno problem recognizing that Eve was hismissing rib. You do not need tostrategically place yourself anywhere.You don't have to help a guy becausehe's shy. Men will do whatever theyhave to do to get what they truly want.The man in your life should recognizeyou as the pearl of great price in hislife and be willing to do whatever hemust in order to gain your hand. If heis passive about gaining youraffections, take it as a sign that heis not interested. Many a woman'smother has suggested that it is a goodidea to marry a man who loves you morethan you love him. As cold as thatsounds, it actually might be scripturalif you stop to think about it: "We lovehim because he first loved us" (1 Jn4:19). Until then, take the ultimatechill pill. You don't need a bunch ofmen in your life to make you feel allright about yourself. You need only oneman - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me,the right man at the wrong time can bejust as awful as the wrong man at anytime. So trust God's timing in this. Heis the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sitpretty and allow yourself to be found.Again - WAIT until the man voices hisintentions. He should take the lead inestablishing the relationship. You mayhave an inkling that he is the one, butGod will use the man to set the tone ofthe relationship. Allow him theopportunity to woo you - this is yourfirst act of submission. Jesus set thestandard for all men to follow. Theyshould love us first. And they shouldlead the relationship.

Tattooed on my Mind

2007-02-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

Maybe you soon

Forget about all

Or maybe you'll miss it like I do

But one thing's for sure

I'm all knocked out

I spend too much time thinking of you

... And its quite unhealthy already. I used to follow the motto my former classmate gave me, "Dont think of him. He's not thinking of you!" But my efforts were not enough. You hit me! Or maybe... I just long to get to know more about you. Maybe... Im just curious of whats it like to be with you. I dunno...

And I can't get you out of my dreams

Now I know you're the dangerous kind

And your smile is tattooed on my mind

'Cause I can't get you out of my dreams

Oh well, actually this aint applicable. Hehe! Ganda lang ng linya. Once or twice you entered my dream. But thats it. Your smile? I havent seen it... or maybe I did. I just didn't notice it. Blessing in disquise! hehe!

I don't wanna write

I don't wanna call

I would not know what to say

It should be you

That's how I want it to be

Tell me you feel the same way

trash

2007-02-18T19:07:00.000+08:00

WAAAAHHH!!! Whats happening to me??? ndi ako pumasok sa laborel and investment law ko today!!! Maaga naman ako nagising, went for mass tapos balik condo. Hindi pako nagbabasa ng libro ko or gumagawa ng mga dapat gawin!!!

1. Study for CIVPRO, on deck na ata ako tom. haba pa naman ng topic!
2. Chief's Notes CRIMPRO. Shyet! Have yet to read the book... 600 pages in one day??? UNBELIEVABLE! due Feb.22 (NYAY KO PO!)
3. Article for SC Newsletter (due dapat this week!)
4. Digests for Tax2

Dami pa!!!

Masyado nakong addicted dito sa internet nato! Been reading blogs and surfing friends friendsters! Tapos read past emails received like 5 years ago. Akalain mo un!!!

Nako, THIS IS BAD. Gotta make use of my brain! hehe! =) So far, wala pa man din akong bad recits this sem... dapat good pa din tom. nako! Whats happening to me na ba talaga kasi... SOBRANG KATAMARAN NA TO!

Pero sige, kaya ko to. Mag aaral na ako in awhile.. after i write more of my thoughts.

THE HIM:
Hmmm... love life nanaman eh... LECH! Gusto ko mawalan nalang ako ng gusto kahit kanino. Gusto ko maramdaman ulit ung FREEEEDDDOOOMMM!!! Ung wala kang iniisip na kahit sino gabi gabi (YIKES!). Pero I know, papunta nako dyan sa FREEDOM na yan... nag uumpisa na eh. SOON. DAPAT.

bakit ba kasi ang bilis kong maka appreciate ng tao eh! hay lord.

Baliw talaga ako... Mind over Heart talaga ako... Mind laging pinapatakbo kaya parati rin siya ang iniisip ko instead of the things im supposed to do. THATS BAD. PATHETIC!

Friends, if ur reading this, please dont ask me kung sino sya. hehe!

Pero kasi naman, kung alam mo lang!!! Hindi naman kita love... la pako dyan kasi dunno you that well yet. Pero i know kaya kitang tanggapin. I'm ready to 'love' you (HANEP! EEWW!). Willing po ako, ok? Pero you have to make yourself worth it din. PURSUE ME! DYOSME! haha! Sorry ha... ndi naman sa nagpapahabol ako. Pero I have to FEEL na its me you want to be with... na its me you choose to love. I have to FEEL na you CARE for me. Kasi kung kulang, ayoko na. Mahirap naman ata ung sa araw araw nalang eh i would have to ask myself if you really value me.

Pero sige, kung ndi, eh di wag. Mahirap man, kaya kong tanggapin. Sabi ko nga diba, paparating nako sa FREEDOM na yan. I mean, im entertaining that thought na.

BROD. PHIL

Haha!!! Nagkapasa pasa pala arms mo? Hahahaha!!! Kulit mo kasi eh! Sa uulitin ha?

DIET PLAN

Hay SUCCESS!!! Basta simula Jan 2007, I lost about 10lbs already!!! yun eh, as of last week. Eh medyo napakain ata ako this week dahil sa mga lakad with JP and Fred, Angel, Alyansa, TOL. hehe! Sana ndi ko na gain ulit, sayang naman.

la na ata ako munang masabi... next time ulit. see yah!

2 PARTIES in ONE NIGHT!

2007-02-18T03:17:00.000+08:00

Just got home from 2 drinking sessions where I didnt participate actively. Haha! the first one was our VICTORY PARTY in ALYANSA held in Marina near World Trade. Masaya sya, puro elders ng alyansa dumating plus all our candidates. Tapos, we were also blessed with the presence of Atty. Bong and Dean Lazo. Ok naman, I LOVE ALYANSA!!! Sobrang nakakatuwa kasi all out support pa rin ung mga elders namin kahit mga alumni na sila. They came to celebrate with us. thanks!

After that party, we, TRISKELIONS proceeded to PIER1 to have another drinking session. i didnt participate actively din. Hehe! Abstain muna ako sa inuman. Success naman! ayon, masaya rin sya.

Pinakamasaya sa lahat nung latter part na ng night and i thank BROD. PHILIPP so much for that!!! :) Bro, SOBRA MO AKONG NAPASAYA! hehe! thanks sobra! :) Minsan ko lang mailabas sama ng loob ko and THANK YOU for being there for me. Sana mag heal lahat ng sugat na naidulot ko sayo. hahahhaa!

kapag ginulo ka ng pag ibig

2007-02-17T01:36:00.000+08:00

(posted from another source)

Marami kang iniisip, naiisip at gustong isipin. Pero mas gusto mong malaman ng lahat ng tao ang lahat ng kabangagan mo. Wala lang. Magpapansin. Umasang may mag-rereply sa senseless thoughts mo. Mag-advice. Magsabing, "Oo.. naiintindihan kita.."

Pero ayos lang sayo kahit di nila basahin to. Bakit pa? Sino ka ba? Nakakadiri. Ayaw mong tuksuhin ka nilang, "yuck!! Ang mushy mo pala!!"

Sa lahat ng kaibigan mong humihingi ng advice tungkol sa pag-ibig, ang sinasabi mo lang palagi, "Tange, kalimutan mo na lang yang nararamdaman mo. Korni mo e. Ang OA mo pa. Guguluhin lang nyan buhay mo."

Ang sasabihin pa nila sayo, "Talaga? Buti ka pa, wala kang lovelife. Di ka stressed. Di ka kinakabahan palagi --""At di ako mukhang tanga."May na-offend ka na naman.

Pero pakialam mo ba sa kanila? Totoo naman a.Tapos bigla mong mare-realize, may problema ka na rin pala.

Hayop talaga. Gusto mong sumigaw. Bakit may nanggugulo na rin ng buhay mo ngayon?

Ang dami mong crush, grabe. Yung isang classmate mo sa Math17, isa sa Hum1, dalawa sa Geog1, dalawa sa PE2, isa sa Math100 at isa sa Chem16. Si Mike Bravo ng Maroons, si George Chia ng Blue Eagles, si Kogore ng Shohoku. Si Dao Ming Shi at si Mei Zhuo ng F4. Si Enrique Iglesias. Si Legolas. Si Ron Weasley.

Sixteen. Imagine?Pero di naman nila ginugulo ang buhay mo.Ayos lang di ba?

Kaso may isang taong di mo maintindihan kung bakit kahit anong gawin mo, talagang ginugulo pa rin niya yung buhay mo. Para siyang mangkukulam. Kahit saan nakikita mo siya.

Inalis mo na noon yung pangalan nya sa phone mo. Kaso sinulat mo pa rin yung number nya sa diary mo. Engot ka talaga. Tapos nilagay mo ulit sa cell mo. Tapos inalis mo ulit kase nainis ka. Naihagis mo pa nga sa kama mo yung phone mo e. Tapos naisip mo wala rin namang epekto kung nasa cell mo siya o wala. kaya nilagay mo na lang ulit.Tapos binura mo na talaga ngayon.

Panahon na para kalimutan na talaga sya --- naiisip mo.Okay na? Hinde. Mas malala.Na-memorize mo na kase yung number nya. Tsk tsk tsk.

Naaawa ka na talaga sa sarili mo.Naiinis ka pa kapag sinasabi sayo ng mga kaibigan mo, "Nakita ko sha sa A.S. kanina." Asar na asar ka. Sabay sigaw with matching facial expression, "PAKEELAM KO?"At magtatanong sila ng isang tanong na matagal mo nang hinihintay na sagutin sa harap ng maraming tao: à "Baket? Ayaw mo na ba sa kanya?"

Tatahimik ka muna. Parang si Lei sa harap ni Tang Chin. Magbubuntung-hininga. Tititigan silang lahat na naghihintay ng sagot mo.Biglang magkakaron ng split personality disorder, ngingiti at magsasalita: "Sino yon?"Nagandahan ka sa ginawa mo. Effective. Wow, para talagang di na nya kilala.

Biglang makikita mo siya. Ayun. Mabubuwisit ka talaga. Maaalala mo yung mga panahong pinagmukha ka niyang tanga. Yung panahong kailangan mo siya. Yung panahong iniwan ka nya sa ere. Yung panahong tinalikuran ka nya. Masisira ang araw mo. Wala ka sa mood makipagtawanan. Sisigawan mo ang kaibigan mong natapakan ang white rubber shoes mo. Gugustuhin mong balatan ng buhay ang lahat ng taong nagtatanong kung bakit ka wala sa mood. Hihilingin mong mong makapag-teleport ka papuntang Egypt.

At bigla mong maririnig ang isa sa mga kaibigan mo, "Ganyan talaga pag in-love." May background pang mga palihim na tawa. At sabay-sabay silang kakanta ng --- Why do birds suddenly appear.Di ka makakapagsalita. Mararamdaman mong umiinit yung tenga mo, yung leeg mo, yung mukha mo. Bigla mong maiisip ang pinakaepektibong palusot, ngingiti at magsasalita, "Sino yon?"Ayos na sana, kaso di mo naisip na mali yung statement mo. At bago mo pa mabawi ang sinabi mo, sasabihin na nila, "Baket? Me sinabe bang pangalan??? Yak!! Halata!!!"Feeling mo masusunog na sa init yung mukha mo.

Kahit anong pilit mong kalimutan siya, mabilis talagang kumalat ang balita. Minsan naglalakad ka. May masasalubong kang dalawang taong di mo kilala. Magbubulungan sila. Titingnan ka, mula ulo hanggang paa, at maririnig mo ang isang bulong: "Yan ba?"Grabe, ang ganda na naman ng araw mo.Di mo na lang papansinin. Kahit nakikilala mo na sila. Isang araw naman nakikipagkwentuhan ka sa isang ka-block mo. Gwapo. Niloloko mo pa nga tong taong to na siya na ang pinakagwapong taong nakita mo sa personal. Hehe, tawa nya. Ang saya-saya mo, biglang may dadaan sa likod mo na dalawang taong di sinasadyang naging pamilyar na sayo. Lumingon ka, at pagtalikod mo, nagsalita ang isa: "Pinagpapantasyahan e no." Sasagot ang isa pa, "Oo nga."Oh hindee!!! Anong nagawa mo??Titigil ka na sa pakikipagkwentuhan. Aalis ka na lang na punung-puno ng sama ng loob.Naaasar ka sa lahat ng tao.

Bakit kailangang pakialaman ang buhay ng taong ni hindi nila kilala? Bakit kailangang pagtawanan at ipagkalat ang mga bagay na di na dapat pinag-uusapan? Marami pang version yung mga naririnig mo sa kanila. Minsan ganito, "Siya yun." O kaya, "Ows? Yan yon?" Hayop. Marathon eavesdropper ka kase.Kahit ikaw mandidiri sa iniisip mo.

At matapos mong malaman ang lahat ng bagay tungkol sa kanya, kahit yung nilihim nya at nalaman mo lang nung tapos na, naisip mong kalimutan na lang talaga siya.

One time nakipag-chat ka.

musta luvlyf? meron b? .w

lang kwenta

ows? bkt?

:( basta. wla syang kwenta.

mahal mo?

huh?

mhl mo p rn un. weh honestly, mhl m p rn ba?

argh! ewan wlang kwenta pero mhl mo. tsk tskMatitigilan ka. Tititigan mo yung monitor ng matagal. am i ryt? heyIta-type mo yung "gtg" nang di oras. May kasama pang "nys miting u" para di halatang nabwisit ka sa sinabi nya. Alt-F4. Disconnect. Shut down.

Asar na asar ka na talaga sa sarili mo. Di mo na gustong mag-teleport. Gusto mo na lang talagang ma-dissolve sa hangin.Ikaw na ngayon ang nangangailangan ng advice. Pero walang kwenta lahat ng sinabi nila. "Kalimutan mo na siya." PAANO? "Wag ka kase magpapaapekto. Wag mo isipin yung sinasabi ng ibang tao." HA?!? ANG LABO!!! "Marami pang iba jan." EH SIYA NGA LANG EH!!! Aasarin ka pa kapag sinabi nilang, "Bakit di na lang si _____? Yihee. Okay naman siya ah."

Ngek, ano yun, ganon lang kadali?Nakatitig ka ngayon sa monitor. Pabalik-balik ka lang sa lyrics.com, sa CRS, at sa email composer mo. Nakakainis. Di mo na alam kung ano pa ang sasabihin mo.Tama, bwisit sa buhay yang feelings na yan.

May magtatanong pa, "Bakit mo ba yon mahal?" Wow pare, wala kang maisagot. Buti pa sa Math pwede kang manghula ng formula, pwede mong paglaruan ang solution mo. May partial points ka pa. Eh sa tanong na yon? Tsk tsk. Malabong mangyari yon.At kung BS Love and Affection ang course mo, 'tol. mas mabuti pang mag-shift ka na lang sa BA Emotionlessness and Insensitivity habang maaga. Malamang magkita pa kayo don.

Paulit-ulit mong sinasabi sa sarili mo na wala ka na talagang pakialam sa kanya. Pero bakit pag nakikita mo siya, natitigilan ka pa rin? Minsan, kaibigan mo na yung nagsasabi sayo, "O, kala ko ba wala na?"Tatawa ka na lang. Lalakasan mo para di mahalata yung teary eyes mo. Di ka na naman makakapagsalita.

Litong-lito ka na. Di mo alam kung bakit nga ba ganon. Kung bakit ka apektado. Kung bakit nagbabago ang lahat pag nandiyan siya. Kung bakit gustung-gusto mo siyang bigyan ng nerve cells para maramdaman niya ang lahat. Lahat.

Ngayon, ipapadala mo to sa mga kaibigan mo, sa mga ka-block mo, at sa iba pang taong wala talagang pakialam sayo. Sa kanilang lahat, di mo alam kung sino talaga ang may tiyagang tapusin ang ganito kahabang senseless na mensahe. Di mo rin alam kung sino talaga ang mag-iisip para sayo. Di mo alam kung sino ang maaapektuhan.

Somehow, gusto mong ma-disconnect ka na lang bigla. Maubusan ng internet credits. Sabugan ng pc. Mag-brown-out. Biglang mag-collapse. Umiyak. Malunod. Maging ipis. Uminom ng Skele-Gro. Mabagsakan ng asteroid. Maglahong parang bula.Kase, tama yung sinabi ng naka-chat mo. Sinasabi mong walang kwenta, pero mahal mo.

Sobra.

i wish YOU're reading this

2007-02-16T16:21:00.000+08:00

How do I say "STOP" when I myself can barely take that word? How can I make you stop without giving you the wrong idea? I think I'm beginning to... No.. thats not possible... but I think I am. Its hard to admit, maybe because its too early for that. But... what can I say and what can I do? I have...

But, if you're reading this, I wish you'd STOP...

Give me time to recover and pull myself up. You havent done me anything wrong but you're starting to turn my world around. I have to get hold of myself. I can't allow myself to... You havent proven your worth. And I have to ask myself over and over again, are you worth my wait? All the answers just seem to favor you even if I KNOW (FACTUALLY) IT SHOULD NOT. What have I gotten myself into? You shouldn't be part of my world yet. I must have done something to summon you into mine... but its not time.

You're probably the right person at the wrong time.

If only you'd stop, and if only we'd stick to that, maybe we can catch up with the clock and make things right the next time.

somewhere out there

2007-02-08T01:52:00.000+08:00

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

FREEDOM

2007-02-02T12:48:00.000+08:00

My imagination simply won't accept you.

I guess I've finally done it!

I guess I'm over you.

HOROSCOPE. hehe!

2007-02-02T02:03:00.000+08:00

My friendster horoscope says:

Sagittarius
Turn on the charm and look at the situation optimistically to get what you want.

--> hmmm... what do i want? what do i want? hehehehe! *wink*wink*

AKAP by Imago

2007-02-02T00:57:00.000+08:00

Nagtatanong

bakit mahirap

sumabay sa agos

ng iyong mundo

Nagtataka

Simple lang naman sana

Ang buhay

Kung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin

lahat ng lihim mo

Iingatan ko

Ibaling sa akin

ang problema mo

kakayanin ko

Pikit mata kong iaalay

ang buwan at araw

pati pa sapatos kong suot

Nagtatanong

simple lang naman sana

ang buhay

kung ika'y lumayo

Sasamahan ka sa tamis

Sasamahan ka sa dilim

Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

Sasamahan ka sa tamis

Sasamahan ka sa pait

Sasamahan ka sa dilim

Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

Sasamahan ka

A Few Q

2007-01-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

'Just done watching TV where this Guy died without having said goodbye to his wife and so the wife cried and I feel that she's having a hard time letting go of her husband.

Napareflect tuloy ako. It must be really hard to let go of someone you deeply love without having a closure. Diba? Parang, think of this situation.

You're a couple who loved each other so much. Tapos guy left for US leaving you with a promise that he'll be back and he'll communicate with you every once in awhile when he gets there. When he got to US, he calls you every other day and then suddenly, breaks the communication. No calls, no emails, no text, no nothin. You're left wondrin what could have happened to him. A week later, still no communication. This time, your miss him terribly. 2 weeks after, still no communication. Now your heart tells you 'maybe hes just too busy. Very busy.' A month later, still no communication. Now your heart tells you 'maybe he has found someone else'... 'maybe he has forgotten me' or 'maybe... he's over me'. What do you do?

You could hope that maybe tomorrow he'll call you or the day after next. Or maybe, try to forget him... curse him! But what if he has a very good reason why he wasnt able to call you? Over and over the same questions. Again and again, the same thoughts but you'll never know till he tells you or till that day comes that someone tells you what has happened to him.

Its good if you found out that he's doing pretty well in his life out there or miserable... whatever. As long as he's alive, communication is not impossible. Even a response.

Sadly though, if your loved one died without having said goodbye, you are left with no way to communicate except through thoughts or dreams. And you are given answers which possibly are just your own thoughts. how do you let go of this person without having said what you really wanted to say? how do you let go of someone without having heard his goodbye?

Insomniac

2007-01-31T03:51:00.000+08:00

Just say "goodnight"

... so I can sleep.

I just need to hear it

Just that.

Only from you.

2007-01-29T02:01:00.000+08:00

OUCH!

ang sakit ng likod ko!
nagmamanhid tuhod ko!
matanda na ata ako ah.... teka...
may exam pako maya... godbless to me!

2007-01-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. =)

I choose to be happy while I still can because when sadness knocks my door, choosing to be happy is such a hard thing to do.

So, choose to be happy and you'll be happier!

yippeee!

This morning

2007-01-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

I woke up around 10am ata. If u read my previous post, i prayed na sana ndi na sya ang maisip ko pagkagising. GRABE! God answered my prayer! I woke up this morning and he wasnt the first thought that came into me!!! :) Last night napanaginipan ko ung dati kong crush. He held my hand. Un lang.. kilig naman ako! haha! kaya ang ganda ng gising ko. haha! Sana mga previous crushes ko nalang mapanaginipan ko para paggising ko, sila nasa isip ko. ok lang un kasi I know na ndi ko naman na sila magugustuhan ulit eh. Kahit man lang sa paggising, ndi sya ung 1st thought ko. At least for a moment, naging meaningless ang existence nya sakin. (HANEEEP!!!)

2:00am

2007-01-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

I feel sleepy na but i dont wanna sleep. I choose to be happy but it seems like my emotions' much stronger than my mind (hanep!). Im missin' someone pero I choose not to. I tell myself everyday na ndi kawalan ang mawala sya sa buhay ko. i know totoo yun, ndi naman talaga kawalan. May flaws sya na hindi ko normally kayang tanggapin pero bat ganun, bat parang kaya ko? I have my standards, which normally is non-negotiable. Pero with him, i think I can make exceptions. Ano ba to!?! IM WILLING TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION for him. DARN! Ang swerte naman nya! hindi nga sya sweet eh! i still believe na hindi sya deserving sakin. haha! Pero ewan. May gusto akong panindigan. yun eh na I can put a stop to this feeling. god please, he's not the one. Sana paggising ko, ndi na sya ung naiisip ko. Cant take my mind off him. Pero sana paggising ko, I CAN na.

Foolish Heart

2007-01-24T04:22:00.000+08:00

I need a love that grows
I don't want it unless I know
But with each passin hour
Someone, somehow
Will be there, ready to share

I need a love that's strong
I'm so tired of being alone
But will my lonely heart
Play the part
Of the fool again, before I begin

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore

I'm feelin that feelin again
I've been playin a game I can't win
Love's knockin on the door
Of my heart once more
Think I'll let him in
Before I begin

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before, you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You've been wrong before
Don't be wrong anymore
Foolish heart
Foolish, foolish heart
You've been wrong before

Heart Check

2007-01-21T10:17:00.000+08:00

The last time I checked my heart,

It was complete the way it is.

Thinking of no one,

Wishing for someone,

But happy as it is.

Now I checked it once again,

Suddenly, there was emptiness.

I knew theres something missing.

I feel.

I checked it twice and thrice

And I realized its falling apart.

So fast and unexpected.

Someone please find me my missing piece.

2007-01-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

Some say that when you can't sleep,

its because somewhere,

someone is thinking of you.

Now its late and I cant sleep...

If that saying is true,

Is it too much to ask for that someone to be you?

2007-01-18T12:46:00.000+08:00

I thank God for granting most of my prayers.

But one thing I thank him the most for was

When I prayed for you to come,

and YOU CAME.

Risk vs. Suicide

2007-01-10T16:36:00.000+08:00

I think it was last night when my dear brod Philipp and I talked over the phone and got into topics involving stupid mushy things we do for love. Siya lang naman ang stupid. haha! Well, aside from his stupid moves daw and decisions nya sa love eh napagdiskitahan niya ako. He was convincing me to go out on dates (not with him ha) and take risks. Kaya before I slept, I tried to reflect on what he is trying to tell me. I realized na its not that Im not a risk taker. its just that I know the difference between "risk-taking" and "suicide". Join me as I point out the difference:

You risk when you dont know what "could possibly" happen. You risk when you're not sure if things will work out between you and your prospect. you risk when there are few doubts about getting into it. It is risk-taking when you try to compromise your standards because youre thinking that it just might work.

Suicide is another thing. You are committing suicide when you know and you are very sure of how you're going to end up... bad. Its a suicidal move when you choose to get into a relationship that you are very sure wont work because of conflicts of interest or your inability to compromise your "non-negotiable standards". It is getting into a relationship that lasts only out of mere tolerance. What will happen if you get tired?

So, bro, if you're reading my blog lang naman, i hope i was able to enlighten you. hehe!

2007-01-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

I never expected that a simple conversation (with you)

could turn out to be a necessity.

A GLIMPSE OF 2006

2006-12-27T16:16:00.000+08:00

JANUARY

I got nominated to be an officer in one of my affiliations but I declined (2-3 positions). I know, this decision somehow affected the way our elders perceived the person that I am. They saw the leader in me but I refused to use that gift for this group. Sorry.

FEBRUARY

I ran as Student Council Secretary and I won. This is quite an amazing experience for me because I was just in 2nd year then and barely 8 months of residency in AUSL. Thanks for the help of my fellow brods and sis plus lots of my friends and supporters. haha! Goodluck to me and to AUSL SC. hehe! Pero grabe! Busy month sobra! I had to wake up at 6am everyday and sleep past 12mn tapos I dont get to study na for my subjects coz of our daily room to room campaign.

I got into a major head-aching experience din and really, a disappointing one when the other party sneaked into my record or grades (sorry to mention that. Factual only). Worse, when the former President tried to file a disqualification case for me claiming that I didnt reach the grade requirement. Ok lang naman na madisqualify ako eh pero MY GUDNESS!!! Dont use "illegal" means to do so! Its so unethical for them to sneak into my records! Especially because she's in position then and as member of the Student Council (PRESIDENT, HELLOOO?), she shoud help protect the confidentiality of records. But she didnt, and in fact tried to use it against me.

MARCH

The school years almost done pero naman! Anong kapalaran ba naman to! Nabalitaan niyo na ba na may prof na nagwalk out at nagalit dahil daw sa SC Secretary? Ako un! bilis ngang kumalat eh. Pero ok lang, I try to introduce myself to them pa nga na ako un. hehe! ayan, galit tuloy sakin ung isang prof. tsk tsk... wanna hear the story? hehe!

APRIL- MAY

Pag isahin ko na tong summer period na to. Basta, i took up summer class (Admilaw and Specpro). Ang saya nga sobra eh! Tapos i got to meet new friends na sobrang cool and sayang kasama! Grabe! I love my classmates nung summer na to!

I was our admin class president. Naku!!! Sobrang hectic ng sched!!! Daming ginagawa tapos may SC work pa na grabe talaga! Pagod ako everyday. Pero ha, may time pakong makipag chat kina khalid and vince till 3am everyday. haha! terrible! Buti ok lang naman ata ung grades ko nun. sheeesh!

Oh! and how could i forget? I had my first boyfriend. uhmm.. correction... pseudo-boyfriend, khalid. hahahhaa!!!! Almost everybody in our class thought we were together. Naku noh! naku lang talaga! haha! Pero i thank Khalid kasi sobrang game lang din sya sa mga issue kaya naman wala ring nasirang friendship between the 2 of us.

JUNE-JULY-AUGUST

Busy month din! Trying to wrap up what we've accomplished during summer tapos room to room sa mga class to get their block beadles na ndi naman nakuha lahat kaya medyo bali wala rin.

Plus, concert period to and election ng batch reps. GRABE!!! Hectic and daming sakit sa ulo!!! Daming controversies din and conflicts na nanyari.

SEPTEMBER

BARMONTH!!!

Masaya kahit sobrang nakakapagod. tong period na to, grabe! May crush ako na brod ko na halos lahat (kahit ako), ndi maisip bakit ko naging crush un. hahaha!!!

Pero pramis, sobrang saya ng month na to. Sana maulit muli... hehehe!

OCTOBER-NOVEMBER

Exam period na to eh. Tapos enrolment tapos pasukan na. Aysus! Halos walang sembreak kasi I had to help sa enrollment comm.

DECEMBER

Haaayy... daming storya nitong month na to. next time ko nalang kwento. katamad eh. haha!

Christmas Greetings!

2006-12-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

Salamat po ulit sa mga bumati nung pasko! :)

Fritz
Crisie
Mars
Don
Romano
Angel
Xylene
Ren
Mico
Elz
Karl
Kuya Rob
Kuya Jonas
Gary
Len
Pury
Josef
Kuya Ronald
Jovy
Kuya Bill
Arlene
Jan
Eleyners
Pinggoy
Tin F.
Aimee Tan
Kuya Paul
Kuya Ryan
Chito hearthrob
Mari
Lorraine
Richard
Bigx
Alan
Erica
Diokno
Rico
Vince
JP N.
Sharie
Joce
Barley
Rage
Shar
Jason
Kuya Dante
Benjo
Jasmine
Tita Bons
SY
Livee
April
Doc Charlie
Eliza
Juno
Tadeo
Rjil
Rona
Larina
Irvs
Zsamu
Corrine
JP L.
Meh
Marilyn
Atty. Manalo
Erica
Kiwi
Kate T.
Pbear
Jfer
Zally
Ashley
Lawrence
Val
Reo
Tito Ed
Ate Mel
Shaun
Jill

etc... ndi ko na ma-note ung mga numbers pa ng iba. hehe! sorry po. pero thanks so much! :)

Sa mga Bumati

2006-12-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

Just wanna thank the following people for remembering me.

Unahin ko na nung bday ko. Next time ung sa Xmas. hehe!
So...for those who bothered to greet me on my 24th birthday, thank you!
Bro. Romano
Mars
Sis Erica
Sis Lorraine
Bro. Chenly
Sis. Xylene
Sis. Tin
Bro. Fritz
Zsamu
Sis. Pury
Sis. Len
Sis. Gertie
Sis. Angel
Sis. Sharie
Juno
Rjil
Corrine
Judiebee
Pinggoy
Diokno
Khalid
Bro. Reo
Jayric
Mona
Sharlene
Bro. Errol
Tiniput
Bro. Ian
Maricris
Atty. Mejia
Eleyners
Kuya Dante
Sis. Anna
Katie
Rona
Mama Vanj
Lovely
Tadeo
Mari
Excess
Dani
Chito
Arlene
Val
karmi
Bro. Badj
Kate tubban
Jfer
Yanski
Jan
Bro. Rich
Larina
Bro. Jec
Ashley
------> plus others na.. hehe! sorry, ndi ko ma identify number niyo. pero maraming salamat po talga! :)

Good things I've Done this December

2006-12-22T17:33:00.000+08:00

Am i nice? Am i nice? Hehe!
Just now I realized how good it feels to be a goooooood person. I dont really count or take note of the good things I do but i feel like mentioning some of it here, right now. Nakakagaan kasi ng loob lalo na ung ndi mo naman pinag isipan pang gawin, basta mo nalang ginawa tapos sobrang natuwa ung person. haaay... =)

1. Helped Mark in writing the letter for the intrams, the reso for the Athletic funds, buy materials for the board, etc.
-----> Tapos tinext nya ako na sobrang thank you daw. Thanks for appreciating my help.=)

2. Gave my tarrot deck to Chaos for him to love and cherish (hwehehe!)
----> He even included my name sa 'thank you' list nya sa blog. Nakakatuwa kasi that afternoon na i gave him the deck, dala dala talaga niya the whole day till night before he went home. :)

3. Greeted Gee a happy birthday
------> simpleng reply nya sa text na thank you daw and how sweet of me to greet her.

4. Read letski's blog. She did appreciate that simple act.
------> She even made me a friendster testimonial as a sign of her appreciation sa pangangamusta ko sa kanya ng dahil sa blog nya.

5. Gave Baby Rona her Christmas wish. (3 packs of pampers and a can of Nan1 milk. hehe!)
-----> la nman... nagthank you lang sya several times. Nakakatuwa kasi i know na naka help din un sa baby expenses nila plus un kasi nasa wishlist nya. :) luv u mami

6. Did the Stage design (this was supposed to be Mark's job for the Xmas party. Unfortunately, he cant because he'll be having his Corpo prelims during that day and sobrang dami na nyang ginagawa. No time to study, what more to decorate the stage)
------> hmmm... la lang. feeling ko lang ok ung pag accept ko ng task kasi walang ibang pwedeng gumawa eh. thanks nga pala kay Kate for helping!

... hmmm... ndi ko na maalala ung iba. pero sobrang sarap naman din ng feeling na maging mabait. hehe! or ung parang natatouch mo ung iba.

Things to do for today

2006-12-19T11:04:00.000+08:00

WAAAAAHHHH!!! Kala ko bakasyon nako!!! Its still WORK! WORK! WORK!
Anyway, ill try to make the best out of this 'charity' day nalang. hehe! Last few tasks before xmas vacation:

1. Buy a gift for my 'baby' sa exchange gift. theme: Somethin' SENSUAL
2. Buy materials from National Bookstore. As in lots of 'em.
3. Concenptualize Stage Design for tonight's xmas party. Theme: Red Light Christmas- A Sensual Celebration.
4. Decorate the Stage! oh GOD! alone???
5. Prepare the raffle stubs and game stubs for the christmas party.
6. Type and print the Christmas Party Program- sequence of activities.

Tara na!!! Lets get DIRTY!!!

nirvana

2006-12-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

... soon.

2006-12-09T23:14:00.000+08:00

First ever kong mag join ng volleyball tournament (hanep! Kala mo bigatin!!! Intrams lang po). And ang saya saya kasi nanalo kami! Hehe! Ang galing galing ng mga team mates ko!!! Ang sakit nga lang ng katawan ko tapos may malaking pasa’ sa tuhod. Ang sakit din ng mga hita ko tsaka braso. Para akong nag undergo ng initiation. Haha! Pero WAWAWI!!! Ang saya saya talaga! Nakalimutan ko mga problema ko. Haha! Sarap palang pagpawisan ng todo. Hehe!

mAmA MaRy's Day

2006-12-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

Mukhang ndi talaga maganda ang pasok ng pagka 24 years old ko! I was kinda hoping for someone to make my week a lil more special than the usual. Pero hinding hindi. Puro depressing news lang nakukuha ko these past few days.

For one thing, I was so excited kasi intrams na. Moment na un para masilayan ko si “zanjo”. Pero wala! Walang wala! Pero sige, ok lang. Madami pa namang ibang mapapanood and I have friends to cheer.

Pero to hear one of the saddest news, DAMN! I was really looking forward to seeing him, talking to him, building our friendship, etc… pero WALA! Im even willing to make him feel na “hey, approachable ako… we can be good friends… yoohooo…” pero wala talaga eh.

Hindi ko nalang sasabihin kung baket wala coz I just might give you the biggest clue. Pero talaga lang, nalulungkot ako and medyo embarrassing to admit na apektado na ako kahit wala akong karapatang maapektuhan. Leche! Nakakahiya to ah!

Anyway, Immaculate Conception ngayon. Nagsimba ba kayo? Ako I did and Im happy kasi I made the right choice. Hehe! Feeling ko lang successful kasi medyo ndi nako nakakapagbigay ng time para kay God.

INXS: Ang galing talga kumanta ng ALS!!!

HAPPY BDAY TO ME!!!

2006-12-05T18:06:00.000+08:00

Friends, thanks so much for remembering and making the effort of reminding me to be happy this day. Haha!

Strange… no matter how many text greetings or calls I receive, I still don’t feel happy. But, WAAAH! Who cares?!? And FOO! Being HAPPY is a CHOICE nga daw, diba? Ok lang… ndi rin naman ako malungkot. I just feel EMPTY. Nyikes!

So, lets not blame it on anyone.

----

2006-06-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

im tired.

"welski's theory"

2006-06-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

These past few days, some of my friends were asking me if Im in love (blooming daw kasi..yiheeee! thanks!). Well, to set my answer straight, NO,Im not. BUT I kinda like this guy from campus. We know each other, we're friends and we have a lot in common (ooooppsss.. clue!). ok. ok. walang koneksyon yan sa pagkablooming ko. Siguro pagod lang tsaka pawis lagi. Tendency ko kasi mag rosy cheeks pagpagod at pawis eh. Alam niyo na, mistisahin. haha! (joke!)

Anyway, last night, my friend khalid and I were chatting online and he named one of my "thoughts" as "welski's theory". Simple lang naman un. It started when I (again) opened up to him how much I miss this "guy" and how much I wanted to see him, talk to him, be with him, blah blah and chuvaloos. Pero wala. WALANG WALA! I gave khalid a sigh and told him na dapat mawalan na ako ng pagkagusto kay "guy". It was then that I came up with this simple thought (na he named welski's theory na nga). Ang sinasabi ko lang naman, how odd. Often, we humans try to put a stop into something and actually achieve that goal. But one thing which is absolutely impossible for us to stop is loving or liking someone.

lemme expound.

Example, you tried to quit smoking and actually tried to stick to that goal. Or maybe, you tried to stop watching ghost stories, and was actually able to do it. BUT when you try to tell yourself you will never ever love again or that you will never ever try to like someone again, thats something else.

How do I know? Because. Been there, done that. And here I am again, liking someone.

LOVE-WISH

Several times I've told myself, I will never have a crush again. I will never fall for anyone again. I even told myself, guys dont deserve my appreciation and my (ehem!) heart. Not even my attention. Parang, "anu sya, sineswerte? Hindi sya ang tipo ng lalakeng magpapahulog sakin". but it doesnt end there. Love surely is invincible.

And so, once again, I wasnt able to conquer "love". But I still keep on wishing that the next time I feel for someone, the next time I fall, the next time my attention is caught, it would be with someone who deserves all that. I wish for someone who will be able to reciprocate my attention, my feelings, my heart. I wish he would be someone I deserve and someone who deserves me as well. Just a simple wish but hardly ever comes true.

Sad Story

2006-06-07T01:22:00.000+08:00

This is a sad short story about a grasshopper.

It started when my dad noticed a grasshopper on our car's windshield as we left Cainta on our way to our Condo in Taft.

When we reached Pasig bridge, I could'nt help but notice and think of the grasshopper on our windshield.

Actually un lang un. Nakatayo lang dun ung grasshopper. Naawa lang ako kasi naisip ko, biruin mo, from Cainta sya tapos mag-isa magtatravel sya papuntang Taft?!? Wala... Naawa lang talaga ako kasi naisip ko, malalayo sya sa family nya. Wawa naman, tapos loner pa sya. Parang, naimagine ko ung thought na ang layo layo mo sa "home" mo tapos mag-isa ka lang and sa layong un, hahanapin mo ung family mo, wala ka pa man din mapa! tapos ang liit liit pa niya.

Sad noh?

Good News: nilipad na ung grasshopper off to i dunno where. Ayun, end of story. At least this time, hindi nya kailangan hanapin family niya ng mas malayo. :)

Things that make me happy

2006-06-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

FAMILY
1. When we eat together (all 4 of us).
2. Whenever we watch TV together.
3. When my dad tells us jokes.
4. When Im with my dad going to the Condo and back home.
5. When I talk with my mom on the phone.
6. When my kuya talks to me especially if he laughs. (a simple smile will do)

FRIENDS
1. Out of town trips or plain tambay kina Rjil.
2. Lib study session (haha!).
3. When we try to make fun of Diokno. (hahaha!!! Laughtrip lalo na nung December sa SLEX. hahaha!)
4. Tambay sa lib bridge, yosi break (oh, i dont smoke).
5. Basta laughtrip.
6. Girl's tambay in my condo, drinking session. hehe!
7. Joy ride going to nowhere.
8. Lunch or dinner together.
9. Whenever you make me feel appreciated (na madalas niyo namang napaparamdam sakin. thanks!)
10. When you check on how I do, once in a while.
11. Forwarded jokes.
12. When you do things for me or offer me some help (kahit na ndi ako sanay na umaasa)
13. Whenever I hear you sing.
14. Whenever I see you happy.
15. When you laugh at my jokes. hehe! (cyempre dapat moral support)
16. Everytime I punch my brods arms. hehehe! bayolente!
17. Listening to your stories.

LABIDOO
(walang nagmamahal sakin eh (except friends and family) so about the ONE nalang)
1. Whenever I see him
2. Whenever he talks to me
3. Whenever I receive text msgs from him.
4. A simple smile and hello.
5. Good news.. news like wala pa syang gf, walang nililigawan, etc. (hahaha!)

WITH MYSELF
1. Usually, home alone in the Condo. (i enjoy privacy!)
2. Chat session with whoever.
3. Deep thinking about whatever (except acads!)
4. People watching (their behavior, reactions, personalities, body language, etc)
5. Not talking and just looking around, listening.
6. Trying not to smile when Im happy.
7. Trying not to frown or cry when Im sad, depressed or hurt and being able to do it.
8. Staring, reading another person from their eyes.
9. When Im hurt and I cry, as in todo hagulgol. (wut a relief! Sabi nga samin nung gr.1 ako, "its alright to cry, crying makes you feel lighter/ better")

MATERIAL THINGS
1. Ice cream
2. Chocolates especially Black chocolates (lalo na ung mapait!!!.. wag naman sobra) or Vanilla.
3. Green Tea Frappuccino from Starbucks
4. Vanilla Frappe from coffee bean
5. Cakes and cookies
6. My laptop
7. My phone
8. My pillow and bed!
9. My colored pens
10. My jackets
11. My collection of 'paranormal' books, about astrology, aura, crystals and gems, Start signs, etc
12. the book, "Searching for Meaning", other books about psychology, human behavior, body language, etc.

OTHERS
1. Nature tripping
2. Surfing my friend's friendsters
3. Reading blogs
4. Going to new places
5. Listening to good music
6. Watching TV esp Myx
7. Doing artistic works... enhancing my creativity
8. Talking about paranormal stuffs
9. Videoke, kahit makikinig lang sa friends ko singing.
10. Rainy days in school basta walang dapat aralin (as if thats possible)
11. No recit days!
12. Carrying a baby
13. A simple hello or smile from strangers i see in school (wag sa labas, scary un)
14. Star gazing
15. Reading text messages, heart warming ones
16. Dreams coming true
17. Walking at night or very early in the morning and feeling the cool breeze of air
18. Simoy ng Disyembre
19. Funny thougths
20. Good memories
21. Good recits to outstanding ones
22. Sending forwarded messages
23. Having time to do whatever I want to do

... and the list goes on. hehe!

Things I want to have:
1. Cool/ Cute organizer
2. My own bible (i dont have one!!!)

Things I wanna do/ learn:
1. Boxing
2. Martial Arts (Gusto ko mala-Ninja! hehe!)
3. Sing (hahaha!)
4. Debate
5. Telekinesis
6. Mind reading
7. Aura reading
8. Get to know more people and hear their stories and know more about them.
9. Nature trip lalo na sa quiet place na may tubig (lake or beach) and mapuno tapos sightseeing lang. Basta, being one with nature's best

... cant think of any na eh. next time. hehehe!

Thanks-Giving

2006-06-03T00:56:00.001+08:00

I just thought of thanking the people I encounter everyday, everyweek or whenever. I find it necessary to thank you for making me smile.

CHATMATES:
Well, lately i've been chatting too much. Chat-addict nako.

Khalid, sa lahat ng gabi na magkachat tayo about our "kasamaan". hahaha! tsaka syempre, sa all out support sa mga nilalaman ng puso ko. huwaahaha!

Zally, for all those conversations we've had about our crushes. hahaha! and our "kakapalan ng mukha".

Puno, madami akong natutunan sayo tsaka for helping me stay awake online by telling me stories about whatever tsaka sa kulitan.

Ate Bern, for trying to boost my self confidence and making me realize my potentials. hehe!

Barley, sa audibles na makulet at sa short chats natin na mababaw na nakakaaliw naman.

TEXTMATES:
Jason, sa lahat ng mga makukulit na text na mapapahirit nalang ako ng "huwahahaha!"

Sep rebuelta, dahil din sa mga unending kulet texts.

Khalid, sa pagiging always ready to reply sa mga konting hirit ng hinanakit or kakiligan ko araw araw. haha!

Diokno, dahil sa SOBRANG BABAW na mga jokes pero nakakatuwa naman at finoforward ko rin para mairita rin ung iba. hahhaa! Tsaka sa nakaka touch na text mo nung May 30.

Chaos, dahil din sa mga funny texts.

Bong, dahil din sa mga funny texts tsaka ung pagtext text natin nung before mag admin sa lib reg your "girlets" haha! kakatuwa

Jonas Imperial, sa touching text msgs mo thanking me for the small things ive done for you.

Jec, sa touching text msgs mo din, suporta sakin.

Bongga, Larina, Chaos, Judie and Kuya ko, sa bible passages.

LIVE:
Admin class!!!! Ang saya saya natin! love ko kayo! hehehehe!

Specpro seatmates, dahil sa unending kakulitan natin every specpro class. buti ndi tayo napagalitan ni ma'am. mga bad influence kayo!!! hahaha!

SC, sa pagpapahirap sa summerclass ko. hahaha!!!

Sis Anna, for being with me nung May 30.

Mark, sa pagtulong sa freedom wall na ndi natin matapos tapos

Atty. Lazo, sa inspiring suggestions and ideas.

and.. kay *toot*, dahil lumiliwanag mundo ko kapag nakikita kita. hehe!

---> ayan, next time ill try to be more specific sa kung bakit ako napangiti. hehehe! :)

today's forecast

2006-05-24T00:10:00.000+08:00

Sabi sa Friendster "TODAY's FORECAST" ko:
"Technology shouldn't inhibit your communication -- aim for face-to-face connections"

hmmm... *wink*wink*

To the ONE

2006-05-22T02:17:00.000+08:00

Could today be the day I've been longing for when I will finally meet you? or maybe realize you are the one, that special one God has sent to be my partner? Maybe we have known each other for quite some time but unaware that the right person is right in front of us. Us.

I wish for us to recognize each other, soon. I wish God will lead us into meeting and recognizing each other before I get tired of wishing. I wish to feel the love you have to offer before I start believing that wishes don't come true. And finally, I wish that this simple wish of mine will come true.

In the mean time, take care of yourself while I take care of mine. I know the right moment will come when God will finally lead us into each other's arms. But before that day comes, I know, God is preparing us to be that special person that we both are meant to be.

Pang- gulo

2006-05-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

Wala lang!!! gulong gulo lang ako sa kalabuan ng pagtakbo ng utak ko!!! ayoko ng mag isip! its bad for my health. Gusto ko magmura! Gusto ko sumigaw! Gusto ko... speaking of gusto, here are a few of the things I wanna do:

1. Shout, as in really shout!!!
2. Manuntok (kahit sino!)
3. Iumpog ulo ko. Baka bigla akong tumalino, mag improve ang retention and retrieval ng stored informations, etc
4. Sunugin at pasabugin lahat ng computer ng school namin
5. Spend the day with ***
6. Go to a mountain cliff and wala lang, magpakatulala o sumigaw dun
7. Go mountain climbing (kayanin sana ng katawan ko! haha!)
8. Learn mental telepathy and telekinesis
9. Host a show (like that of Boy Abunda. hehe!)
10. Magpaka bayolente!

and the list goes on. damn!